I see many smart single women and men struggling and frustrated, because they’re lost in our modern dating culture without preparation. We’re not taught how to be LoveSmart. Usually we learn from painful mistakes. As did I.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting interesting, vibrant, smart and successful women in business, academia and other fields over the years. Many of whom are also single mothers. They already have great lives and feel ready to meet a loving partner to enhance them. I know they’re hoping for the best, but they continue to go round in cycles of harmful dating habits, patterns, and disappointing short-lived relationships.
As a coach, I help them prepare for their new relationship so they feel empowered and confident, not like its hard work, and frustrating. To be dating savvy and LoveSmart, it’s vital to consciously refine your approach so that you set the strong foundation to attract the relationship you want and deserve.
I have narrowed down all the tested approaches to 40 practices that, as I’ve noticed, make women LoveSmart – as well as just generally smart and successful in all the other areas of their lives.
LoveSmart women do:
1. Rock single life.
2. Know that being single isn’t an inferior relationship status.
3. Believe in love and avoid bitterness.
4. Have a growth mindset.
5. Love, honour and value themselves first, in life and each season of their relationship journey.
6. Know they deserve to be loved for who they are, because they are enough for the right man.
7. Respect and express their feelings and needs with ease and love.
8. Maintain healthy boundaries (more about healthy boundaries here).
9. Accept their imperfections and flaws and those of others. Striving for Perfection is an unhealthy condition.
10. Know that leaving life and love to chance is a risky game.
11. Maintain their dreams and individuality.
12. Know that dating in our modern culture requires a smart plan of high-value selective actions.
13. Cultivate and nurture their inner compass and filter out opinions and advice that don’t serve them.
14. Embody their feminine magnetism and balance their masculine strengths effortlessly (more on feminine magnetism here).
15. Trust that they will handle communication and relationship setbacks with grace and integrity.
16. Have clarity about their life and relationship values, goals, needs, and live them with integrity (you might like this guide to help you gain clarity).
17. Understand that women and men fall in love and communicate differently – and respect the differences.
18. Understand that love fears are natural, and take smart risks despite them (fearless dating guide here).
19. Understand that they attract a mirror of how they feel inside about themselves.
20. Are resilient and rejection-proof. They’re smart navigators of our dating world.
21. Know when to walk away from an unhealthy relationship or partner because love alone isn’t enough.
22. Give from a full cup. They maintain their energy and replenish as they need to.
23. Have an optimistic outlook.
24. Have an open heart and balance both heart and mind until they connect deeply with the right man.
25. Know how not to take themselves too seriously and laugh at their quirks and flaws.
26. Change course when something isn’t working.
27. Practice gratitude; receive and give compliments and kind gestures.
28. Appreciate life and time. Waiting for years to be ready actually means placing one’s life and happiness on hold.
LoveSmart women don’t:
29. Settle for less than their definition of their Dream Relationship.
30. Need a man, but they don’t need to say it.
31. Wait to feel loved or validated by a man, they nurture that within first.
32. Hunt, chase or overtly peruse men in a needy way but don’t hide either. They strike an elegant balance.
33. Try to control anybody else, only themselves.
34. Expect men or people in general to read their minds.
35. Over-give without receiving.
36. Compare themselves to other women or compete with them.
37. Make assumptions or judge men based on their past relationship filter.
38. Justify or defend themselves to people who don’t care enough to value them.
39. Fear to show vulnerability.
40. Let their ego get in the way of finding help with resources or support to keep moving towards their dreams.
LoveSmart women are the kind that relationship-minded men will feel good being around. This is a skill that can be learned, and I help people take their dating life to a higher level by developing their LoveSmart Strategy with them on skype. More information here.