As a dating coach, I work with successful, smart, strong women, who know their standards about how they want to be treated by a quality man. Yet at times they dance around upholding their views. One example is that they are too flexible, too accommodating of behaviour and actions that don’t meet their standards from the men they’re dating, during the ‘probation’ period.
• Accepting last minute meet up requests and being available when he asks, at his convenience as an afterthought.
• Accepting dates by text, and engaging in late-night texting conversations,
• Overlooking a broken arrangement to meet, i.e. when a partner disappears and re-connects a few days later, offering excuses,
• Being too available when he makes contact and keeping their energy on him,
• Initiating communication, and ‘waiting’ for his response and next move,
• Rearranging their agenda and other commitments just not to lose the opportunity to see him again before he’s asked them,
• Accepting or ignoring what he’s showing them through his actions and words. For instance, he doesn’t want a serious relationship, he’s too busy, unavailable, engaged in a family drama or not interested,
• Refraining from expressing their needs or show him their standards in fear of him losing his interest.
The way you express and show how you want to be treated with your feminine energy, in a low-pressure, but assertive way inspires attraction from the right quality man and filters out the wrong ones. It begins with having absolute clarity about what your bottom line non-negotiable values and standards are. When these are clear, your responsibility is to uphold these standards, which means distancing your self from men who treat you wrong, who don’t step up to meet your standards.
Upholding your standards means that you will not reward unwelcome behaviour and actions by ignoring, justifying, accommodating such actions and attitude. The right, quality man will be inspired to learn more because he perceives a woman who values and respects herself, expresses her feelings in a feminine, calm way, and follows through as high-value. This never involves demands, angry confrontations, manipulation or games, which are coming from a place of lack of confidence.
A man will treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. Ensure your core values and standards are clear, as these will support you in deciding what behaviours are not OK for you when you’re dating. These aren’t as obvious as we often assume.
For support to gain laser clarity about relationships, I have put together a free practical guide. And started a closed community for deeper conversations. And if you’re ready to up-level your dating life even more, let’s connect.