Do you genuinely believe you will meet the perfect man for you, who will love and commit to you? I understand that prospects may seem grim at times and it feels like hard work. Dating today is overwhelming and competitive. It requires effort, energy and time, being proactive and being found and seen.
Unfortunately, many women don’t fully believe they will meet their perfect partner. Here are some of the thoughts a coaching client shared with me recently, in response to me asking what her dating life looks like right now.
• I wonder if I am ever going to meet a ‘normal’ man,
• Men don’t want a serious relationship,
• I had a couple of dates recently, and I didn’t hear back from them,
• I’m on a couple of dating sites, and it’s just not happening- it’s so hard and confusing,
• I feel like giving up because I think all men are the same,
• I think it’s my age – men want younger, prettier women.
Have you ever thought one or more of these same thoughts? I hear these comments regularly, and it’s true that many women have convinced themselves that these are facts. To believe these are the entire reality of dating is incorrect. They’re self-limiting beliefs. Despite being smart, worldly, experienced and savvy, many quality women have developed these unconscious, deep-rooted negative beliefs about men – and dating, based on their environment, bad experiences, the media, and their lack of dating and relationship success so far. Fear based beliefs about men and dating don’t serve you, and won’t result in a healthy relationship.
With that said, here are some valuable tips to be mindful of, and start slowly implementing, which will have more rewarding results for you and in your dating life.
1. It may sound like a cliché, but genuinely loving yourself is the first step to attracting love
When you are embodying this inner quiet and confidence, you effortlessly become more magnetic. This inner power attracts quality men to you effortlessly. Inner confidence doesn’t require attention for validation.
2. Avoid generalisations and stereotypes about all men
Each person is unique and has their own set of beliefs, values, opinions, and attitude towards life. Although we do see commonalities and behaviour patterns, we can’t assume all are the same. If you tend to be meeting the same type of men, then it’s essential that you expand and up-level your strategy and selection criteria, so that you connect with the right type of quality men.
If you generalise about all men, especially in conversation with your girlfriends, you’re risking being perceived as bitter, hard to please, low in confidence and understanding. It’s an attraction killer. Don’t be that woman.
3. Amp up your Feminine energy
He will see you as high value when you lead with your feminine energy. This is much more than just appearance, age, hair colour, style, overt sexiness. These may influence initial attraction – they won’t maintain it. Quality men can appreciate the difference. Allow the man attracted to you to come towards you by leaning back, being receptive, open and engaging without initiating or attaching to the outcome. If he doesn’t, that’s OK, keep going until the right man responds – and he will!