Well, it’s not a discussion most parents like to have with their children – granted. But, you know what? If you don’t, someone else will!
I was brought up in a home in which sex was discussed without any corners. In fact, at the time when I discovered how babies are actually made, most people double my age assumed they came on ships.
Was that a good thing? Well, some people may say that my innocence was taken away, but I grew up looking at sex as something natural; something that you had to make work for yourself.
So, when my child was around five, I explained that children come from a man and a woman joining forces. I didn’t use the word ‘love,’ because not all children are born out of a loving union…
To cut a long story short, now that he’s about to turn 14, I feel like it’s time to talk to him about his first time. And, yes, I too think he’s too young to be having sex but I’d rather have the discussion a few years too early than a few days too late.
Here’s the advice I’ll be giving him:
Never Feel Pressured: Some people have sex at 16, while others have it at 25. Never feel pressured to have sex or feel left behind because everyone around you is doing it regularly. Wait till you find someone who really appeals to you. Take the time to get to know them. And then, if he or she consents, do the deed.
Always Carry Protection: Whenever the time comes, you’ll want to be prepared. No matter who your first time is with, ensure you use condoms. And never take anything for granted, particularly your health. A night of passion could land you in a lot of trouble – and you just don’t want your first time (or any time) to take a sour turn.
Sex Isn’t a Sin, Nor Is It Nasty: Sex is a natural process. It’s how we were all conceived. Don’t feel guilty because you had sex, and don’t feel ashamed to be happy about it. NEVERTHELESS, don’t gloat about it. Don’t tell your friends how big the guy’s sausage was, or how you made her moan. That’s just wrong.
Alcohol (and Drugs) and Sex Don’t Mix: You’ll be out, and out of my sight. You’ll probably be drinking and hopefully not doing drugs. But, if you do find yourself in that situation, remember that sex under the influence is never a good idea.
Porn Isn’t Life: Don’t try some crazy trick you saw in a porn film. For starters, you’re new at this and so is your partner (probably, at least). Secondly, that’s really not how sex works. Take it slow, and be human. Always.
Is there any other advice you’d give your child before their first time?