Why are the Maltese so loud? Why do they eat so much? How do they handle their booze? And what are their best chat-up lines? These are all the questions How To Be Maltese In An Hour is seeking to answer as it opens on Wednesday 19 July. Directed by heavyweight comedy duo Wesley Ellul and Steve Hili, How To Be Maltese In An Hour promises to give foreigners and locals a side-stitch as it delves into the essence of being Maltese.

“It was Steve’s idea,” explains the producer and co-director of the show, Wesley Ellul. “As he was gigging across Europe, a lot of people asked him what being Maltese was like. While he was explaining – in his typical manner – he came up with a hilarious show which, after he approached me, evolved once more to become the brilliant play we are so proud to be producing!

Starring Sean Briffa, Emmanuel Tabone and Giulia Gatt, How To Be Maltese In An Hour will explore the intricacies of Maltese life and culture: from the doting Maltese mother to the Paceville playboys, and from the Eurovision fans to the Maltese Government workers.


The story – written by Steve Hili – starts at the fictitious Malta Office for the Approval of Citizenship, which requires all persons living in or visiting Malta to take a Malteseness Test. As luck would have it, the VHS tape that the documentary about Malta was on has been over-written, which leads the Office to put on the show themselves. The explanations include the secret of the Maltese language, how being related to 50 per cent of the population of an island feels like, and what to keep in mind when crossing the road, among many other things!

How to be Maltese in an Hour will officially open at Palazzo Pereira on Republic Street, Valletta, on Wednesday 19 July and run every Wednesday and Sunday until mid-August.

For more information and to purchase tickets, please visit

How to be maltese