Alice Tinker in an episode of The Vicar of Dibley had once suggested that we should use pubic hair as an alternative renewable fuel, since there’s plenty of it about, it’ll keep growing and nobody really wants it anyway.
Well, she’s not far off the mark with this one! Scientists at the University of Krakow have recently discovered the possibility of burning body hair as an alternative form of biofuel. By collecting unwanted pubic or body hair from people’s extremities, this could be burned and regenerated as fuel in replacement of diesel, petrol and even electricity.
Dr Ismailova from the University of Krakow commented on the discovery: “The possibility is in its early stages, but once we find a conducive manner as to how we can collect unwanted body hair, we’ll be able to place it all in some form of converter, burn it, and produce the necessary energy to replace fossil fuels.”
Pubic and body hair could very well be considered to be on par with other biofuels such as methane and even vegetable oil, which has also been used in experiments to run cars at the university. The question now is how exactly should scientists extract and collect body hair for the purposes of renewable energy. Prof. Isnotreel, a colleague of Dr Ismailova, has suggested a scheme between beauticians and spas, who can collect strips of body hair after waxing sessions instead of throwing it away.
The main obstacle with this is the interference of the sticky wax holding the hair together. However, the team has suggested that baby oil could very easily disintegrate the wax, cleaning the hair away from it. Others have advised recruiting donors who’ll be able to shave their pubic region; a scheme similar to blood, organ and semen donation. Plucking is out of the question, as nobody would be willing to endure the pain, and as has been pointed out, there are far more efficient methods to aggregate this potential renewable source.