To internet-stalk or not to internet-stalk, that is the question.

I miss the days when dating was straightforward. You know, when we actually met someone in real life and got to know them and grow with them; when all we knew about the other person was what they wanted to reveal to us in their own time.

I don’t, however, miss discovering things that would totally catch me off-guard. Like the time I slept with a very handsome gentleman, only to find out he thought the USSR was a good idea. That wasn’t fun, you know?

All this has truly made me question whether I should use the internet to stalk the people I’m going on dates with… See, as a single 40-something-year old, I feel like I don’t really have that much time left to waste on dinners with strangers. Yet a part of me misses the fun and adventure of discovering someone new at a natural pace.

I’m afraid I have no answers for you this time, though. All I do have are the pros and cons of internet-stalking your dates:

The Pros:

I was recently chatting with a friend of mine when I asked him, “But, why do you bother internet-stalking your dates? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of dating?” And his reply was so perfect, that I couldn’t come up with something better myself.

“Evelyn, people on dating websites often choose their best photo, so it’s not the first time I thought I was going out with someone and then ended up having a drink with someone who looked completely different. Also, do you know how many people lie about their relationship status? People who say they’re single and are actually in a committed relationship? I just don’t want to get attached to something which has no future to begin with!”

As I’ve said time and time again in my articles about love: It’s a scary world out there and it’s hard to trust. So yeah, internet-stalk your dates until the cows come home. Keep yourself safe!


The Cons:

I’m a very opinionated person, but that’s not to say that I’m always right. Indeed, I’m wrong many times and, you know what? It’s fine, so long as I’m also open to learning new things and listening to other people’s points of view. So, when people internet-stalk me, they may come across my articles on from three years ago and think: Is this what she believes? I’m then dismissed as someone who thinks ABC when three years on, I am actually someone who thinks XYZ.

When we internet-stalk people, the information we get is devoid of context, history or personal accounts. Things can be written in anger; a former job may not be something we’re proud of. When you internet-stalk people, you need to keep in mind that the information coming towards you is filtered in many random and sometimes unfair ways.


So, the moral of the story is that you should internet-stalk with an open mind or don’t internet-stalk at all, or at least be reserved.


What do you think of Evelyn’s argument?

Let us know in the comments section below.