I was talking to one of my clients the other night.
“Another year is over and I feel stuck. I simply don’t know where to go from here. It’s so frustrating. I could be so much better than this. I deserve more than this” she said. And you could hear the anger and disappointment in her voice too.
Spinning your wheels is really not a funny place to be. And yes, I do believe that people deserve more than they’re giving themselves in life. It’s why I do what I do – coaching people to get them where they deserve to be – physically, mentally and emotionally. And I love seeing people win.
First off, getting stuck is pretty common. As a life performance coach, it’s one of the most common things people complain to me about. Way too many people aren’t getting where they want to in life. They feel they deserve better, they know they could do more… but the wheel just isn’t turning, or worse, it’s just spinning over and over, resulting in wasted energy. People can get stuck at any stage in their lives; it doesn’t really matter how advanced you are in anything. I’ve seen 18-year olds get stuck, and I’ve seen company CEOs do the same. The dreaded hole can swallow anyone up, including me.
If I wanted to sound like one of those snazzy Pinterest pictures, I’d say there are two kinds of people: those that stay in the hole, and those that find a way to jump out. Now, here’s the kicker.
Staying stuck or jumping out depends on just one variable. YOU! That’s right. It depends entirely and completely on YOU. Sure, it’s great to blame your boss, your bad luck, your non-understanding partner, lack of time, global climate change and that fart in the elevator for your misfortune, but it really just comes down to this – a lack of action. Think about it. What do you do when you’re stuck? What kind of action do you take?
When I say action, I mean rolling up your sleeves and getting the real work done. The tough stuff. Let’s use an example. If you’re in bad shape right now, what do you do? Do you stay thinking about it? Do you read articles and watch those damn motivational movies on YouTube and wish for better?
Or do you find the absolute best coach in your area and book an introductory session with him tonight at 5pm? Yes tonight. Not tomorrow. Tonight.
Do what works. You see, most people actually convince themselves they’ve done the best they can, and then do nothing at all. They give themselves permission to fail by coming up with excuses to justify their complacency. And then, they’re surprised when they get nowhere at all. So let’s make a difference, shall we?
Firstly, by all means, get inspired. Fine someone with an inspirational story. Someone who’s beaten the odds to get to a better place. It sets a fire under you. Secondly, what’s your dream? Why are you doing what you’re doing? Do you want to fit into a smaller dress? Do you want to look good at the party? Dreams are usually the biggest motivator of them all. Thirdly, visualise and write down exactly where you want to go from here. What do you really want? A promotion at work? Lose 10Kg of fat? What’s your goal?
Then, find the method used by someone who’s already done the legwork. Don’t waste time trying to re-invent the wheel. A stupid person learns from their own mistakes. A wise one learns from those of others. You must then adapt what you’ve learnt to yourself. Not everything will be a perfect fit. Sometimes, you need to suit things to yourself.
After all this, take action. I cannot emphasise this enough. Do something about it. Put in the elbow grease. Give yourself some sweat, some blood and some tears. Only action will ever get you where you want to go. No amount of wishful thinking or finger pointing will. If you cannot do it yourself, get a great coach to help you do it.
And there you have it. Sorry if I didn’t have the magical cure you wanted. There’s no magic here. It’s just about stepping into the ring and rolling with the punches. And that is how champions are made.