I’ve heard both sides of the story… Here’s my take on it.
I love my son and there are very few things in this world that I wouldn’t do for him. One of them is letting him eat ice cream for breakfast and the other is – or, rather, was – letting him come in between my ex-husband and I.
I’ve always been a believer that a marital bed is more than just a place to sleep. It’s a sacred space where fights are resolved, tears are shed, where casual caresses turn into passionate nights. Having children in that same bed never felt natural to me, and I always wondered if that would come in between my husband at the time and I.
Where would we have sex? Where would I have to find some solace at the end of a long day? Where would our space be? I may have been and still am a parent, but I was also scared of losing my status as a person and lover, as my child – and rightfully so – became a huge part of everything I did. So I decided to keep the marital bed as a sacred space.
Having said this, it’s by no means an unnatural thing to do. Some people can do it. My parents did it, in fact. I slept in their bed till the age of six and I have a younger sister so, clearly, it didn’t ruin their sexual chemistry or relationship. And, for the sake of being partial, my marriage ended. So, clearly, it doesn’t rest on whether or not you let your kids sleep with you in bed.
So, here’s what I make of it:
Comfort and happiness – If both you and your partner are happy with having a third person in your bed, then go for it. It’ll be nice and toasty and, let’s be honest, we all want to hug our children all of the time, so this will be a great excuse. It can also prove to be a blessing for you as a family. We’re so busy nowadays that we don’t always get to spend time as a family on a daily basis. However, if either of you is unhappy with the arrangement – if having a child sleeping in between you is making you cranky – then just find an alternative. Not letting your kids sleep with you in bed is not the mark of a bad parent.
Think Logically – Children love having the comfort of a parent in their bed, so by letting them sleep next to you, they’ll probably not wake you up in the middle of the night to chase away the monsters. However, if they pee their pants or are having nightmares, then rest assured that you’ll be up faster than you can say ‘warm and wet’, and you won’t even have an alternative bed to get into, unless you have a spare bedroom.
Find Alternatives – Your love life doesn’t have to end because you have children sleeping next to you. Find alternative spots that can be yours – for you alone and for you to be alone with your significant other – and keep them sacred. Nonetheless, do make sure your children are safe and looked after when you lock yourselves in there.
Well, that’s my two cents’ worth. What do you think?
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