Don’t let the excitement of a new relationship ruin it!
The dating game makes fools of us all. It pits us against each other. It pushes us to do things we’ve always sworn we wouldn’t. It makes us build walls and then drop them. It makes us feel things we don’t want to feel at a rate we didn’t even realise was possible.
In the words of Charlotte from Sex and the City, the words ‘Where is he?!’ go through most of our heads at the end of another failed relationship or crap date. But all too often, we fail to realise that we’re the ones causing ourselves a huge amount of unnecessary heartache, and that’s why you shouldn’t rush into a relationship.
Image above: Charlotte from Sex and the City
You’ll end up saying things you shouldn’t or don’t mean
I once told a boyfriend I loved him four days after meeting him. I mean, talk about desperate. It was a very clear example of misplaced love hunger and, when it didn’t work out, I actually told my friends, “But I loved him!” Of course, you can’t love someone after four days, especially not that man… There was nothing lovable about him. So, yes, the moral of the story is to pace yourself and, if you rush into things, you can’t do that.
You’ll be acting on lust
The initial thrill of a relationship is one of the most elating feelings you’ll ever feel. You want to be with them, speak to them, kiss them, hold them, talk about them all the time, and that’s fine. But don’t let lust make you believe you’re in love. A good relationship can only ensue if you make it past the lustful stage and into the comfortable stage without falling out of love.
Your life changes overnight
So many people get into relationships and forget that they had a life they’d built for themselves before. Slowly getting into a relationship gives you time to adapt, to find space in your life for this new person. Because that’s all a relationship is – two people sharing their lives, not being each other’s lives.
You miss out on the best bits
There is a beauty in the anticipation felt before you share your first kiss; the jolt of excitement from holding hands for the first time; the trepidation of the first shag. These shared emotions help you build a deeper and more lasting connection, but there won’t be time for either of you to process them if all this happens within a week.
In other words, pace yourself. If you work at it and it’s meant to be, you’ll have a lifetime together… Or at least a few good years! So why rush?
Do you agree with Evelyn’s argument?
Let us know in the comments section below.