It’s one of the most uncomfortable of situations, but you’ve got to let your brain do the work, not your heart.
So you’ve finally found someone nice, charming and good looking… But your friends don’t like him. Bummer. What should you do? Do your friends always know best? Is it worth throwing away a decade of friendship for someone you’ve just met? Why’s life so complicated?
Hang on a cotton picking minute. You’re already complicating things. When something like this happens, you need to distance yourself emotionally and think.
Do your friends know something that you don’t? If you’re sure of your friends’ loyalty and respect towards you, then them not liking your new partner may be nothing more than them looking out for you. So if you sense hostility from your friends’ side, ask them to address the issue. Who knows? They may have heard something through the grapevine or even noticed certain things about your partner’s behaviour towards you that they don’t particularly like.
Could it be that your friends are jealous? It’s not something that any of us would like to admit, but jealousy is something that often wriggles its way into friendships. Needless to say, don’t just approach your friends and tell them they’re jealous. Instead, listen to what they have to say, and unless it’s something concrete, then just ignore it. And if it gets worse, then maybe it’s time to question the friendship rather than the relationship.
Does your friend fancy your partner? We’ve all had a friend who dated someone we found particularly attractive. Your friend’s hostility may be nothing more than a defense mechanism to stop them from getting close to your partner. They’re doing it out of respect for you. Appreciate it, but keep a close eye.
Have you been neglecting your friends? Is all the time you spend with your partner coming out of the time you used to spend with friends? Have you stopped messaging them and giving a hoot? Don’t be that person then project your shortcomings onto your friends.
Are you changing? Every relationship changes us in some way, but is your new relationship changing you beyond recognition? Friends sense and notice these changes way before we do, so think about it and think very hard. You may be turning into someone you won’t like either.
Is your partner a total d***? If your partner cracks rude jokes, doesn’t text you, isn’t nice to you or your friends, holds racist, homophobic or sexist beliefs, and isn’t generally pleasant to be around, you can’t really blame your friends for not warming up to them.
Basically, if you’re constantly upset because of your partner or constantly making excuses for them not being there or them being rude, it’s not your friends who have a problem, it’s you. And you can easily fix that.
Do you have any other advice for when friends don’t like someone’s partner?
Let us know in the comments section below.