It’s been over a few weeks since children have returned to school and, as always, the best thing about it were people’s reactions.
In this age of oversharing, few things are left behind closed doors. Engagements are paraded on Facebook, rants take the shape of convoluted statuses, and reactions to what is happening around us range from silly memes to 10,000-word articles on blogs.
Of course, when school starts, everyone has something to say about the matter. Some were hilarious, others were really angry. But, unsurprisingly, they were all very Maltese. I’ve amalgamated some of the best ones I came across:
Mother Type #1: “Oh. My. God. The kids go back to school on Monday… Finally! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but they were a nightmare this summer. I’m so looking forward to having my life back. Only… Wait, I’m going to have to wake up at stupid o’clock because the van picks them up before sunrise and I need to get them dressed and prepare their lunches. Why, God? WHY?!?!”
Mother Type #2: “I can’t believe my child starts school tomorrow. Jacob, I love you so much. Watching you grow up over these past three years has been the best thing ever. Now you’re a big boy, going to school and learning new things! I hope you enjoy it and that your teacher is nice to you, because you’re amazing and special and unique. What am I going to do without you at home? Who am I?”
Random Drivers: “Balls (and every other swear word under the sun). Coaches and vans everywhere, adding to the already-crap traffic situation. It took me two hours to get from Lija to Mellieħa and I left home an hour earlier than usual. What is wrong with people? Why can’t they use the provided transport? What do some parents think will happen to their children if they don’t drop them off in front of the school’s front door?”
Older Kids on Facebook: “Summer 2K16 was on point! Loved terrorising locals and tourists in Vlt. Tomorrow back2sch0ol. I wonder if I’ll have any h0t teachers dis yr. Ħaq, I’ll have homew0rk again. I hate skul, man. Why do I have to go???”
Teachers: Help. Somebody help.
Advertising Agencies (two weeks prior to all this madness): “BACK TO SCHOOL! BACK TO SCHOOL! BUY. PURCHASE. SALE. SALE. SALE. PENCIL CASES. BACKPACKS. CHILDREN. COLOURFUL. CHARACTERS. BUY. BACK TO SCHOOL.”
Most of us who don’t have kids, aren’t teachers and find complaining about traffic futile: Meh.
Did you notice any other kinds of reactions about Maltese children going back to school?
Let us know in the comments section below.