Sleeping around is a choice, just like saving yourself till marriage is. But, from experience, I find that people who’ve never taken a lover have no idea about what they really want or are after…
I really need to stop going to dinner parties. I’m turning into that guest no one wants to have around because they’ll just say something abrupt and controversial when people start talking trash.
So, here’s the story. I was invited to an old friend’s dinner party, along with five other ladies. We all needed a break from our work, kids and husbands (not necessarily in that order), so it seemed like a great idea to have a night in with good food and plenty of wine. Then, one of my friends, whose daughter is 23, started telling us how she’s scared and worried that her daughter had lost her virginity… Not because she had lost it with someone she didn’t love, or because she hadn’t used protection, but because if she breaks up with her current boyfriend, no other man would want her.
“Excuse me. What?” I said, in complete and utter disbelief. “Your daughter’s on her way to becoming a doctor. She studies hard, looks after herself and is always smiling. Which man, exactly, wouldn’t want her?”
Everyone looked at me like I had knifed my own mother in the back. How dare I tell someone off when they’re talking about parenting? Well, when your daughter is 23 and you still think no man will want to touch her because she’s now a Jezebel, yes, I dare and I will.
So, for that lady who’s now deleted me off her Facebook — like we’re bloody 13 not in our forties — here’s why it’s a good thing that your daughter is comfortable with sleeping with men before marriage.
Relationships are complicated beasts. When you think of all the things you need to do just to be with one person, it’s a miracle any of us even consider them. Think about it. You need to be, and find the other person, interesting. You need to make loads of different sacrifices, sometimes small, sometimes big. You need to keep yourself looking decent. You need to make time for them on a weekly — if not daily — basis. You need to keep up with their lives, and take in a whole new family who may not be the kind of people you’d normally chill with anyway. What you get in return is love and the comfort of having a person you can call home. Sexual chemistry is an important part of that.
If you’ve never slept with anyone before you find the so-called ‘One’, then how are you meant to know what works and what doesn’t in the bedroom? How are you meant to know what you like and don’t like in the bedroom? Or spot the signs of someone who’s not treating you with respect in the bedroom? If all you’ve known is My Little Pony and Little House on the Prairie and all of a sudden you’re thrust into a Basic Instinct scenario, you’re going to fail and hard.
It’s about time people realised that there’s nothing wrong with one-night stands and friends with benefits. No monogamous relationship can ever work unless both people are willing to make it work, and when that oh-so-important sexual chemistry is missing, chances are it won’t. It’s hard enough to give your heart to someone with the agreement that they won’t break it, but to do so without the basic tools and knowledge required would make you absolutely insane.
That’s my two cents. You can put your hate comments below.
You’ve heard Evelyn’s drill. Let us know who you agree with below!