Is cohabiting a natural step towards a happy marriage, or is it just a rebellious sin?
Between research that states a clear link between cohabiting before marriage and divorce, and the many horror stories we hear about going to hell for living in sin, it’s hard to be objective when toying with the idea of moving in together before tying the knot. Thankfully, many people are living by the YOLO mantra and taking that all-important step, but some still think of it as an unnecessary step that will put them in a bad light before God, their families and neighbours.
I don’t get why so many even question cohabiting before getting married, so here’s my list of rational and obvious reasons why living with your partner before wedlock is imperative.
People are just weird, and that includes you, too! We’ve all got our strange rituals and our funny and possibly unhygienic ways within the comfort of our homes. Some of us squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the middle (guilty as charged). Others like having the smelliest of cheeses stored in the fridge. Others like farting in bed and some don’t put the toilet seat down. They’re trivial habits, but you try living with them, even if they get your goat. Knowing about these traits beforehand gives you a heads up, and it also shows you just how far you and your partner are willing to go to make each other happy. After all, if you can’t close an eye or if your partner can’t make an effort, then chances are that your marriage is already doomed.
Sexual chemistry is not a given, and while two people may genuinely like each other, their chemistry in bed may suck! Living together gives you the chance to experiment, and to see what works and what doesn’t. And while I can already hear some people saying that one should not base marriage on sex, you should always keep in mind that most people who cheat, cheat for sex.
Discover your real partner, and let them discover you! I have a theory: your first holiday with someone will make or break the friendship. Why people change when they’re on holiday is beyond me, but they act differently and they behave the same way they would when home alone. What’s your other half like in the morning? Does their lack of effort to look good at home bother you? Do they come home angry from work every single day? Do they treat you differently when you’re not out with others? Are they prone to domestic violence? You won’t know until you’ve lived together.
Marriage is for life. Many people seem to forget that marriage is for life, and that it shouldn’t be a trial-and-error project. In order to make it work, constant sacrifice and acceptance are needed… from both sides. There will be times when you won’t have enough money, when you’ll want to punch each other, when you’ll want out and when the person you said “I do” to is the person you want to see least in the world. Living together pretty much puts you in all those situations, and you’ll know what you can expect.
Marriage should not mean absolute change. Most brides and grooms are scared of marriage because it feels like a complete and absolute change, but when you’ve been with someone long enough and you know you want to be with them, it should simply flow. You’re together and you’ve made it official. Living together before allows for that seamless transition and lets you enjoy your married life to the full!
What do you think of Evelyn’s reasons? Let us know in the comment section below.