Kids are often asked what they’d like to be when they grow up. Some want to become doctors, others want to be Miley Cyrus. Some want to become child psychiatrists to treat the kids who want to be Miley Cyrus.
Then there are those who just want to be happy. But happiness in itself is quite subjective. There are those to whom happiness is finding inner peace or being surrounded by a loving family. To others, it’s fat pay cheques and a house full of cats.
Don’t judge. Everyone loves pay cheques.
So, what’s the kind of job that would grant you a fulfilling and happy existence? Perhaps the ones below might make you rethink your life and clear your desk for a complete change of course.
If I didn’t love my job so much, I’dve signed up for this ages ago. Years of post-tertiary education when I could’ve just been testing mattresses, and not in the oldest-profession sense. Professional sleepers are often hired by universities as participants for experiments that are researching sleep and dreams, but they’re also employed by brands such as John Lewis to rate bedding in general. There’s no chance of you getting caught sleeping on the job with this one; you’d just be doing overtime.
Apart from the long hours and hectic environment in the kitchen, the food industry is a dream to be part of. Working in the dessert department, specifically the chocolate niche, is just heaven. However, chocolate tasting roles go beyond the patisserie, and there are different variations of the job itself. Chocolate consultants such as Louise Thomas assess high quality chocolate such as Valrhona and experiment with different pairings such as sea salt and chocolate. Then there are those who require a scientific background to focus on the chemistry behind mass produced chocolate, such as Cadbury.
Willy Wonka called. He said he’ll get back to you on your application after he’s confirmed that you’re half Oompa Loompa.
This is every Grammar Nazi’s and book worm’s dream job. It’s not as demanding as an editor’s role, but that just means your duties would be solely dedicated to reading. You’d of course be expected to point out one or two grammar mistakes, and, more importantly, you’d be able to discuss the literature at hand with like-minded people. You’d also get to bully the odd pretentious writer who typed ‘fro’ instead of ‘for’. It’s flexible work, and your office would consist of a plush sofa, a blanket, a cup of cocoa and absolute silence; an introvert’s sanctuary.
In 2009, The Queensland Tourism Board listed an opening as “officially the best job in the world”, where the successful candidate would live on one of the remote islands of the Great Barrier Reef and film-blog about their adventures and escapades. You’d be living next door to the Aboriginal Australians and the Torres Strait Islanders, and you’ll most probably end up with a pet jellyfish out of loneliness. You’ll also get a raise if you find Nemo.
Professional Zit Popper
Granted, this isn’t the official title for beauticians and dermatologists. However, my fellow acne hunters, getting into either of these professions gives you consensual entitlement to pop people’s blackheads, ingrowing hairs and zits. You won’t even have to strap your patients down… or is that just me? Your clients will willingly want you to cleanse their skin. Can you imagine it? Entire backs and cheeks and foreheads covered in sebaceous congestion just begging to be unleashed. The practice is so rewarding for many that dermatologist Dr Sandra Lee has her own Youtube channel where you can watch her work as she extracts her patients’ zits.
What other job titles would you go for? Let us know in the comment section below.