Letting go isn’t always easy, but are there any signs that could help you decide when it’s time to close one chapter and start another? Yes!
Turning your back on past hurts and regrets, ironically, is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to face. That never-ending barrage of self-inflicted questions and doubts about what you could’ve done differently, what went wrong along the way, and whether you should’ve given that person a third, fourth or fifth chance, can be soul destroying.
But time does heal, and there will come a time when you’ll be ready to move on to something new… The trick, you see, is in understanding when the time is right.
When the bad doesn’t overshadow the good
It’s normal that when someone’s hurt you, your memories are tinged with all the bad things that person did and how they made you feel. You start questioning why you ever got into that relationship in the first place, and how you could’ve been so foolish and blind. As time goes by, you’ll start to realise that there were good times, too… That’s you finding closure and seeing it from a third-party’s point of view.
When you start forgiving yourself
So many of us blame ourselves for things which are out of our control, especially when someone hurts us. That’s part of being human, but so’s forgiving ourselves. Once you understand that you didn’t get into a relationship knowing you’d get hurt, and that you couldn’t have stopped the other person from hurting you, then that will be a clear sign that you’re ready to move on.
When you find yourself again
We’re creatures of habit, and we quickly start defining ourselves by who we are in relation to who we’re with and our relationship status. When relationships end, however, we go from being someone’s someone to just being us, and that can be quite scary. What you should keep in mind is that you’ve been here before, and you were just fine; and when you realise that, you’re on your way to freeing yourself from the chains of a past relationship.
When you automatically start distancing yourself from it
From unfriending your ex on Facebook to deleting your photos together, there are many ways in which we try to separate ourselves from a past life. Yet we continue dwelling on the past and revisiting the memories. At some point, you’ll notice that that, somehow, just stops happening. And it’s a wonderful feeling indeed!
When the thought of your ex doesn’t kill you any longer
Right after a break-up, many of us just want to stay in bed and cry. Everything reminds us of them and of the happy and sad times we’ve experienced because of them. Things start getting better after a while – they have to, life doesn’t wait – and we slowly start putting all those things at the back of our minds and, in time, they won’t even bother us anymore. When you notice that, it’s definitely time to close that chapter.
As someone who’s been in and out of relationships for many years, my advice is to give yourself time. Don’t force yourself to get over someone without giving yourself time to deal with the hurt and pain they left you with. You owe yourself that much, surely?
Do you have any other advice for people trying to get over a past relationship? Let us know in the comment section below.