I was once sitting quietly jotting down notes during a lecture at university, when at the end of the session, the professor asked to speak to me outside. Confused, I followed her out, where she then snapped, ‘I don’t want you wearing that top in my class. I’ve just spent the whole lesson looking down your top,’ to which I said, ‘Well look away then, you perv.’
I then proceeded to yell out my plastic surgeon’s name and office hours as she stormed off.
For the record, this is the top I was wearing on the day. (Yes, I still own it 7 years later.)
Raunchy, isn’t it? It just screams jezebel.
Not even the baggiest hoodie or the chunkiest turtle neck can stop anyone from noticing the 2Kg worth of breast tissue protruding from my narrow and spindly torso. It’s very hard to put that amount of fat away. Oh I know, I’ll just stuff them under my armpits.
But quite frankly Profs, why would I want to hide them? They’re glorious.
I was a 36D by the time I was 12. At 15, my 34DDs smudged the ink on my O Level papers as I hoisted them up onto the desk. A positive change in diet helped me shed a lot of puppy fat at the age of 20, but the puppies retained their plumpness at the current 32E. Thank you, puberty. Thank you, genetics. Here’s to a lifetime of bad posture, stereotyping and fashion dilemmas.
Being big busted is a tough gig, and the fashion industry isn’t the only one firing the bullets. DD+ women face discrimination and misogyny on a daily basis because of their body type. In fact, I’m willing to bet all my bras that this article will be followed by someone calling me a bitch for boasting about my breasts, or someone telling me to shut up and whip my knockers out. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt… which happens to make my ample cleavage look divine.
Here are some myths, prejudices and misconceptions about big busted ladies which really get on my tits.
History doesn’t help
In the 1920s, the flapper’s physique endorsed the idea that women with big breasts lacked grace and style. Had I been born in such an era, society would have made me suffer greatly for my genetically bestowed assets.
Women with big boobs are dumb
I’m sorry, I missed the scientific study on how my IQ is inversely proportional to my cup size. Hollywood has got into this annoying habit of only casting big busted actresses in dumb or trophy wife roles, which further fuels the notion that women of this body type can only be seen as loose, superficial or simpletons. Somehow, all the esoteric parts are given to Parisian chic and waif-like performers, because apparently, a woman with big breasts can’t possibly portray complex emotions. Sofia Vergara’s agent had in fact advised her to get a breast reduction if she wanted to be taken seriously as an artist.
Sofia is a 32F and is now the highest paid TV actress in the USA.
Women with big breasts are evil temptresses
Għatti sidrek (cover your breasts). Għolli t-top (pull your top up). Ilbes diċenti (dress decently). If I had a pound for every time I heard these, I’d be able to afford a mastopexy. I’ve been told by a nun that I was a midinba (sinner) for doing Calendar Girls. My mother always checks to see if my bra is on show, lest I get raped or called a whore. I spent years being told by a close relation’s very religious and sexually oppressed boyfriend that my breasts were an ungodly distraction to his piety.
Big breasted women are often made to feel like they’re carrying a morally lethal weapon. We’re constantly being told to cover up so as not to tempt men or invite unwanted attention. We’re made to feel that our mammary glands are some heinous creation spawned by Beelzebub himself, brought unto this world to corrupt the pure souls of goodly men. This is, once again, rape culture veering its ugly head. This is the medieval lie that women’s bodies are evil, and that we cannot blame men for succumbing to its dark satanic spell. This mentality is so potent and so destructive, that in some parts of the world, breast ironing is a reality.
It’s not like we purposefully have big breasts. We don’t whip out a foot pump every morning and inflate them before we leave the house. They’re there, whether we, or you, like it or not. Not all of us can afford breast reductions, and no woman is obliged to undergo surgery just because her body offends you. You, rightly so, wouldn’t dream of telling someone to hide a birthmark, so why should breasts be any different? Both the person with the birthmark and the woman who developed big breasts had no say whatsoever on how their bodies would turn out. Nobody has the right to tell you that any part of your body is unholy, because your body is undisputedly a temple.
All breasts are equal, but some breasts are more equal than others
One of the fashion dilemmas big busted women have is office wear. For most ladies who are below a D cup, it’s not so much of a problem. She can wear a shirt with half the buttons undone and probably, nobody will bat an eyelid. However, if another woman with a larger bust had to wear the same style of shirt, she’d be asked to opt for something more appropriate for the workplace. Very well, but if I have to do up all of my top buttons, then I expect my co-worker to do the same.
Going back to the film and fashion industry, I was recently walking in Oxford Street, where at a corner, I was met by a 30ft poster of a topless flat chested model donning a pair of jeans. A few days before this, the MPAA had censored a Sin City sequel poster because Eva Green’s C cup breasts were apparently too sexual. So if a flat chested model had to go topless in just a pair of jeans, it’s art, but if a heavy-topped woman had to do it, it’s porn. It seems that if one’s breasts are above a B cup, then men are entitled to objectify you and treat you as a sexual object, whereas flat chested models aren’t regarded as sexual beings, and therefore deserve to be viewed and respected as artists.
Ironically, women’s breasts aren’t even sexual organs. Their purpose is to secrete milk and feed our offspring. So, our society is absolutely fine with spreading pictures of Miley Cyrus parading naked at red carpet events, but utterly offended by a lactating woman breast feeding her child in public.
Now you tell me who’s the sinner.
Do you have a large cup size? Have you experienced any of the above?
Let us know in the comment section below.