Thoughts are such a huge part of who we are. We think so much, sometimes all the time without even being aware of it. Do we really take the time to notice them? Do we really fully grasp the concept that we have power over our thoughts and realise that they can change our lives?
First, let’s take a moment to acknowledge that we are all human. We all have insecurities. We all sometimes feel that we’re not enough. We all sometimes doubt our capabilities, and we all have that inner voice in our heads that may get way too harsh.
This might sound familiar:
“I don’t think I can do it. What if I try and I fail, and then everyone will think I’m a failure? I should just stay here. I’m good at what I do and I’m really not that unhappy. It’s good enough.”
“Does he/she like me? Should I just go ahead and tell him/her how I feel? What if he/she doesn’t feel the same way and it all gets awkward?”
“No, I can’t do that. I can’t imagine how it would feel if I embarrassed myself in front of everyone.”
“Why did I do that? I made such a fool of myself.”
We, sometimes unconsciously, do this to ourselves on a daily basis. We’re so hard on ourselves. Most probably, if a friend had to tell us the exact same words that we say to ourselves, we would be hurt. But for some reason, we choose to do it to ourselves every day.
What we have to realise is that our power lies in questioning our thoughts, in listening to our thoughts and not accepting that they are true.
“Do I really want this? Or am I choosing this out of fear of failure? Do I really want him/her? Am I just feeling lonely? Does this relationship really make me happy? Or am I just afraid to be on my own?”
It’s about speaking to yourself like you would speak to a friend, and being kind not only to the people around us, but also to ourselves. “It’s okay. I’ll try again next time and I’m sure I’ll do great, and if I don’t, who really cares? I will still be me. Nothing will really change.”
We forgive people easily, and yet we judge ourselves too harshly. We gladly say to a friend, “It’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes,” and then we say to ourselves, “That was so stupid. I should have known better.”
Now close your eyes for a second and think about something that makes you happy. Anything. Just see yourself in that situation, in that place. Really feel the happiness it brings with it. Think of how you would feel if something you really want happens or how it would make you feel to see someone you love. When you’re finished, continue reading.
See? You just took control of your brain for a second, you had the power to change the way you feel. This can be done everyday with regular things. If something gets you in a bad mood, realise that you have two options. You can either continue thinking and worrying about it, waste your energy and still not get anything out of it, or you could choose to move on from it, accept it and feel grateful for all the other good things in your life.
I’m not saying that we should become robots – I’m all for embracing vulnerability, and there are times when you just need to cry and feel sorry for yourself, but that’s fine, as long as we never stop believing that we are worthy, and not fall into a circle of self doubt and insecurities.
Let’s rebel together. Let’s not accept our thoughts. Let’s call them out for their bullsh*t. However, let us deal with them one way or another. I’ve seen too many people in my life that surround themselves with other people out of fear of being alone with their minds. Why? Because when they’re alone, it’s quiet. When it’s quiet, they start to think, and when they start to think, they start to feel sad, lost or scared. Some people completely avoid it, and others fear it so much that once they start to think or feel something, they immediately reject it and turn it into anger. Then there are people like me who sometimes think way too much for their own good.
When you are your own friend, your life starts to turn around. This I promise. You will start doing things that you love and that make you happy despite all your fears. You’ll start to attract new and positive things into your life because you feel good, and you’ll be open to new possibilities and you won’t let your thoughts, your fears or anyone stop you. You will start to love yourself, and through loving yourself you will be able to love others unconditionally.