Do you need someone else to feel complete? If so, you’re codependent.
Much like personal space, codependency is a recent fabrication, but that doesn’t make it any less true. After all, when some idiot barely leaves two inches between my face and his, I don’t like it.
But what does it mean to be codependent, exactly?
In theory, we are all codependent. As Daniel Defoe once put it, ‘no man is an island entire of itself’. Children and especially babies are also codependent, but they don’t really have a choice, do they?
In this instance, however, I’m talking about relationships and how some people tend to rely heavily on their partners for everything, from emotional support to money.
Of course, every couple works together to make sure both parties are fine, or at least they should, but some just take it to a whole new level.
If you can’t meet people without your partner, then you’re probably codependent. It’s important in fact to still have a life outside of the relationship you’re in and to feel comfortable by yourself in public. After all, what happens if the relationship ends?
If you can’t make a decision for yourself, then you’re probably codependent. Yes, it’s okay to ask for advice and guidance, but if it’s your decision to make, then you’re the one who needs to go ahead and take the risk.
If you can’t leave your abusive partner, then you’re most definitely codependent. Relationships are meant to be nurturing and loving. There will be problems throughout, no doubt, but when the other person is abusing you physically, sexually or emotionally and you stay, then that really does mean that you don’t feel comfortable facing life by yourself.
If you always want to know where your partner is, what they’re doing and what they’re thinking, then you’re clearly codependent. Relationships can be difficult, particularly when you invest your heart into something, but that doesn’t mean that you and your partner are not individuals who are allowed to have a life outside that union. When you always badger the other person about their whereabouts, that means that you’re afraid of trusting them and losing them.
If you believe your partner’s problems are your own, then you’re most definitely codependent. Your problems and issues are yours; your partner’s are theirs. Yes, you can be there to support, guide and council, but just like you need to make your own decisions, so should they take responsibility for their actions.
Let’s not beat around the bush here and just say it as it is – codependency is something that has always been there and something we all suffer from, from time to time. But it’s important to know where we stand, lest we end up destroying our own chance for happiness.
What do you think of Evelyn’s argument? Let us know in the comments section below.