If you’re getting married in church, then you’ll need to go to Ta’ Kana…
… and here we’ll answer the questions you may be too shy to ask when you get there.
I think a disclaimer is important here, as I am neither ardently religious nor did I get the same training those who do the courses of Ta’ Kana do. But, I have been married and I have been through my fair share of ups and downs.
So yeah, let’s begin.
In concept, Ta’ Kana’s Kors tat-Tħejjija għaż-Żwieġ Nisrani is a great one. Undoubtedly, too many people get married without really thinking about all the problems and responsibilities they’ll be faced with soon after. Marriage, boys and girls, is not a happily-ever-after affair, but the Battle of Waterloo in technicolour playing over and over again.
However, I often feel that the religious side of these courses stops many people from actually asking some truly hard-hitting questions about married life. So, I’ll ask them instead and answer them as I believe they should be answered.
What happens if I get cold feet? There are three kinds of cold feet you can get – you’re not sure if it’s the right time to get married, you’re not sure if he or she is the one, or your shoes got wet and your feet are cold. For the third one, just dry them up and put a new pair of socks on. For the other two, think hard. You are under no obligation to get married and you may postpone your wedding date if you think you should. I won’t be the one to say that you shouldn’t go into a marriage assuming that it’s forever, because you should, but well, I did too when I first got married, and now I’m separated. Life happens.
What should I really do if my spouse cheats on me? Well, this one is actually answered in Ta’ Kana’s course, but from my experience, I wouldn’t suggest forgiving. When someone cheats, they’re clearly not respecting you and they clearly don’t care about losing you. I may be burnt at the stake for this one, but I for one wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed every single night with someone who doesn’t care enough about me.
Can I have sex while I’m pregnant? This question deserves a two-fold answer: if you (the pregnant lady) don’t want to have sex, then you don’t have to. If you (the pregnant lady) want to have sex, and your husband also does, then yes you can. Of course, it’s best to consult a doctor, as all pregnancies are different, but as a rule of thumb, there’s nothing wrong with having sex while pregnant. After all, I think we’re past the age of only having sex to procreate – seven billion people and counting are enough, you know…
What’s the difference between a Catholic marriage and an atheist/civic marriage? Contrary to popular belief, an atheist/civic marriage is not sealed by the devil, but by another human being. An atheist couple may not have a cross hung up over their beds or have a priest bless their rings, but in reality, there are not that many differences. We all experience problems, heartache, love, defeat, success, joy and loss in a marriage – believing in something may just make it that much easier to cope with, but not always.
Well, that’s it from my end. Do let me know if there are more questions you’d like me to answer.
Also, check out these 5 influential marriages in history.