How do you let your partner know how much money you make or have? Should you get it over and done with during the first date, or wait until you’ve been together for a while?
Chances are your partner will assume how much you’re worth pretty much straight away. Once they’ve seen the clothes and jewellery you wear, spotted your car and taken a grand tour of your house, they will know whether you’re drowning in it, well off, living from pay-cheque-to-pay-cheque, or impoverished.
Yet appearances can often lie, and just because someone drives a Mercedes doesn’t mean he can afford the Mercedes lifestyle, nor does it mean that his or her bank account will reflect the estimated value of that person. This applies to you too.
So, how should you let your partner know how much you earn and how much you’re worth?
Never at the beginning. You don’t need to wear scruffy clothes to make sure the other person doesn’t assume you’re rich, and neither should you rent a luxurious car to make it seem like you have all the money in the world. Instead, be yourself and don’t talk about money for the first couple of dates. This isn’t just a case of not revealing too much, or having the other person like you or leave you due to how much money you have, but rather a matter of etiquette and common sense.
Trudge Carefully. In my opinion, the best way to tell the other person how much you’re worth and how much you earn should be simply slipped into conversation. Why? Well, say you’ve inherited a lot of money, do you really want to be the person who goes around boasting about it? No. Instead simply mention it in a context, and make it obvious that it is not an issue.
Be Aware of Their Reaction. When the time does come, and you do reveal your salary and how much you’re worth, take note of the way your partner reacts. Are they shocked? Do they continue to ask about it? Unless you’re a multibillionaire who just told your partner that you own an island off the Seychelles, then the conversation shouldn’t really take any weird twists and turns. If they keep asking, ask yourself this: is this person with me for the money, or the money they thought I had?
Ultimately, every couple is different and what’s worked for me over the years may not work for you. Yet, it’s good to keep in mind that, in today’s world, money is more of a taboo than homosexuality, underage pregnancy and abortion combined. It’s simply something we are told not to speak about, and ‘coming out’ with your salary can sometimes get quite complicated – so be prepared.
Did you find it difficult to reveal your salary to your partner? Should talking about money be a taboo?
Let us know in the comments section below.