Everyone seems to be always going on and on about how guys play with girls’ feelings. Focusing on the idea that men are all ‘big bad wolves’ as if it were a fact, and worse, as though women were never at fault and never guilty of ever setting out to manipulate a guy, themselves. In the name of equality, not to mention the fact that I have male friends and I am aware of their issues too, I cannot in all honesty, let that lie propagate.
Yes, there are men who maliciously and with intent set out to bully, mistreat and/or hurt women. Just as there are guys who do so unconsciously. However, let us be fair, there are also many women who do the same, even though they may use different tactics and/or methods. Most guys, when asked if they have ever been manipulated by a girl, mention exes who hurt them, talk about the ever-hated ‘tease’ or point out the many money-grabbers around, who only string a guy along to be offered drinks or to be given presents.
Unfortunately, these ‘types’ are only the tip of the iceberg, since there are women who really do not hesitate to kick men below the belt … metaphorically speaking of course. The worst kind of manipulators are those whom you never identify as such, not even after they have used you and thrown you away like a dirty Kleenex. It seems as though most males are inherently and subconsciously wired to naturally respond to certain types of female behaviour, in that since society always puts them in the role of ‘protector’ and/or ‘saviour’, they seem to face issues of guilt and/or lowered self-esteem, when they don’t rise up to these preconceived standards. This ‘knight in shining armour’ complex unfortunately often ends up being a dangerous pitfall for many men, especially when they fall in the hands of a Master Schemer (or in this case, Mistress).
Here are some of the ‘types’ of women I have identified. I am not saying that all women are like this, not even that many of them are. However, I’m sure that if you’re a guy, you have encountered more than one of these at least once.
The Naive Ingenue – ‘Is that how it works? Wow, you are so strong and smart!’ – I can even imagine the sort of girly, breathless voice an arch-manipulator would use with this one. Sure, no one knows everything and it is possible that the girl in question would genuinely not be aware of something you take for granted. HOWEVER, if someone you know treats everything you say like sacred text and you are not Albert Einstein, she is either an idiot or she just wants you to think you are impressing her in order to boost your ego for her own purposes.
The Wilting Flower – ‘I am passing through such a rough time right now. I need hugs’, she says softly as she leans against your strong male shoulder … Purleaseeee!! How many romantic movies did she have to watch to try that one out? Two? Honestly, these kind of people really irritate me in that they don’t seem to realise that YES, there are individuals who are genuinely passing through tough shi* and that their manipulatory attitude is just making fun of their situation. However, anyone who is having a serious problem will definitely not shout it from the rooftops, especially to a guy they have just met! Talk about helpless maidens itching to latch on to some poor ‘knight’ trying to ‘rescue’ them!
The ‘Understanding Friend’ – ‘My ex was just like that too. How could great people like us end up with people like them?’ – This one is tricky. How does one tell the difference between a real friend who genuinely wants to help and let you vent and someone who just wants to lure you in and use you?
Hint – if she comes on to you every time she’s been dumped, or you have been dumped, it means that you are just her filler-in, between her ‘real’ boyfriends. Talk about rebounds!
The Self-Denigrator – ‘I hate my boobs – they are too big!’ – This is an ego-booster used by girls since time immemorial. They criticise themselves negatively, be it parts of their body and/or character, in order for the other person to be forced to negate their self-criticism and give them compliments. Generally, women with a tendency to do this behave the same way with other girls too. It does not mean that they really believe what they are saying, most of them in fact probably do not; not even if they tell you they have SUCH low self-esteem (poor darlings). It must be because of their evil ex or because they don’t have any real friends … except for you, that is *gush*gush*…
The ‘Heart-breaker’ – ‘Don’t fall in love with me, I’m a bitch’ – This is the kind of girl who flaunts how many guys she’s slept with, and how many people she’s dumped and hurt, as though they were trophies. You’d think this kind of attitude would make a guy lose interest, but no! Enter the ‘Saviour,’ i.e. that kind of guy who wants to reform said bad girl, set her on the right track and be the one to finally tame her wild tiger into a nice little kitten. Seriously. If you meet one of these, she probably IS a bitch, so if you’re not admitting to being a dumb moron willing to let someone fool you publicly in front of all your friends and hers, just run for the hills!!
Many might think that only young, inexperienced men fall for these kinds of manipulations. Unfortunately, coupled with a cute face and a round bottom, these tactics usually incur devastation and empty pockets, not to mention eventual disappointment. They can also generate bouts of low self-esteem when the guy eventually realises he’s been ‘had’ and that the bell wasn’t really worth the candle after all, especially since he’s probably just one of the many men hooked with this particular tactic – just rewind, stop and repeat.
What do you think? Ever encountered any of these ‘femme fatales’?