There are people we meet in life with whom we share a deep connection, deeper than with anyone else we’ve ever known, for some reason which we cannot explain.

Soul mates reflect our own true nature, and are always there with open arms through good times and bad times. They fill in the role of our best friends, romantic partners, teachers, or even just wonderful people who come into our life, making a genuine difference.

I met my soul mate during an eight month trip in India. He was a person who had been in my vicinity for a long time, living in the same hostel a few rooms away from mine for three months. I was volunteering at a nearby school twice a day, while he worked as a climbing instructor, working outdoors on most days. The day came where we both happened to be taking a day off, hanging around the guest house’s internet café due to a bad storm. I was writing an article about the caste system in India, and during a brief introduction from a common friend of ours working at the guest house, we had our first chat which lasted for hours. We were far from being romantically attracted to each other, but we certainly shared a very strong connection from that very first day.


I remember walking to my room late that night, grateful that I had crossed paths with him, as he fulfilled my mind with an insight into a world and human interaction in an indescribable way. He was Indian, brought up in a renowned boarding school in south-west India, whilst his family lived in a small mountain village in the far north. I realised I had never met anyone who had such a profound view of the world, one which was distinctively similar to mine in many ways. His presence alone fulfilled me and his peaceful and heart-warming aura could be felt from miles away by anyone who surrounded him. Everything felt just right. People had thought we had known each other for years, just as we’d finish each other’s sentences and frolic through the streets sharing the same zest for life.

Days together became more beautiful, from the most intriguing conversations to the silliest of jokes, card games and offbeat outings most people would have never found the fun in doing the same way. We shared an innocent kid-like nature and enjoyed every moment spent together, until the day came that we realised we were in love.

As surprised as I was with how naturally it mapped together, I often wondered how this happened or who was driving it, and whether it made sense. This was until I realised that he was always there, a long time before I even met him. More often than not, soul mates appear in disguise. We might not be physically attracted to each other when we first met, but there is a mysterious force pushing you forward that tells you this is “the one”.

As the great Sufi poet Rumi so beautifully puts it: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”


You know you’ve found your soul mate when:

You know you have crossed paths before.

If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. You might even feel a sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place. Perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting, you just know you’ve met that person before.

You fall in love with each other’s imperfections.

Soul mates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each others’ flaws. Even through the tough times, you would choose your partner again and again.

You’re two against the world.

Soul mates often feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on anything that life may bring, so long as they have their soul mate by their side.

It’s more intense.

A soul mate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships. Even during negative episodes, you both grow an even bigger and stronger bond than you ever had before.

You feel what they feel.

You can sense what they’re thinking and feeling without them even indicating anything to you or having to verbally express it.

You feel secure and protected.

They’re your ‘home’. You realise that ‘home’ is the person or place you always want to return to, and they’re just that for you. Regardless of what kind of day you’ve had, there is no place you’d rather be at the end of the day than in each others’ arms.

You’re not afraid of having a conversation.

Conversations, whether challenging or straight forward, can sometimes be hard to express with just anyone. With your soul mate, conversation flows easily, regardless what the subject may be. You’re both an open book, knowing that when joined together, you will always have the ability to work it out, regardless of what the issue or subject may be.

Welcoming such a gift with an open heart, letting it flow as it is meant to, whether it is beyond our understanding or not, is all soul mates have and need.