A while ago, I watched the movie Don Jon. The movie’s central theme was Jon’s addiction to porn and how this made real sexual intercourse unsatisfactory. Parallel to this is his girlfriend’s similar obsession with romantic movies. In a subtle way, she tries to mould Jon into the man that she wants him to be. It was quite amusing to watch how these two parallel realities develop throughout the film and how each of the protagonists focused on their one-sided reality.
When sharing a moment with another person, we generally view things from our own perspective. When sharing a relationship with another person, every activity happens for the satisfaction of the doer or the receiver. However, we all have our ideal realities of how we would like our lives and relationships to be like. We might spend a lot of time imagining, daydreaming of how we want things to be. Unfortunately, for each and every one of us, we cannot be totally selfish when sharing our time with another person. This fact brings home how we cannot let our imagination ruin our reality. One should imagine and dream, but unless those imaginations and dreams are communicated with the other person, they shouldn’t be allowed to ruin reality.
Constantly comparing our lives to that of others rather than enjoying what we have and wishing for other things will leave us living in two parallel realities at the same time. It is even worse when we read or watch fiction and treat it as if it were reality. It will just distance us from the reality surrounding us and from the person we have in front of us.
It is difficult to realise that this might be happening, but sometimes stepping back and taking a look at our relationships might be just the thing we need to snap back into reality and to be in the same reality as our partner instead of being in a different one.