I recently read a blog post written by someone playing the notorious life-simulation video-game The Sims. Apparently, this girl’s character in The Sims cheated on her ‘boyfriend’ (in the game) with someone else and her real live boyfriend was really angry and disappointed when he got to know this, as he viewed it as an indication that she thought cheating was acceptable.
To be honest, while I was reading the post, I thought he was definitely over-reacting and being too touchy. After all, it is just a video-game – it doesn’t MEAN anything!
What about porn? Isn’t that the same thing? Making out with someone who is not your partner in a videogame and wanking off to porn are both not cheating, right? There is no actual interaction between you (or your partner) and another real person. Sure, porn divas / hunks are real in that they exist somewhere, but there is no real interaction between you.
Let’s take it a step further, how about interactive online sex-chat? I mean the one where your webcam is on, the other person’s webcam is on, and you touch yourselves while talking dirty to each other through a mike. Is that cheating? You wouldn’t really be touching or feeling the other person, but there WOULD be a sort of interaction right?
How about if it happens only over the phone? Would that be ok since you wouldn’t even be watching the other person touching themselves naked on camera, but would just be hearing their voice?
When does ‘cheating’ become CHEATING? Where is the invisible line between what’s acceptable and what’s not? How about kissing someone else – is that cheating? Or does one need to perform the full sexual rigmarole, that is penetration, in order for it to be considered as such?
I remember once a friend told me that he was dating someone who was seeing another guy too. There was no penetration or any oral sex with the other guy she was meeting, all he did was rub his ‘shlong’ on her breasts and get off … was that cheating?
OF COURSE IT WAS! But, apparently that was just my opinion, since my friend seemed to be ok with it… or so he said at the time, anyway.
I guess the word ‘cheating’ means different things to different people. Living a private ‘secret’ life online, where you bang your sausage repeatedly while watching lesbian secretaries caress each other, might not be cheating for you, but don’t be surprised if your girlfriend does not take kindly if all your stamina is devoted to this pursuit. Same goes for guys who don’t feel comfy when their wives periodically hop on and off their black silicone multi-functional dildos.
No one likes to be replaced by the simulation of a non-existent figure composed mainly of enormously engorged boobs or a permanently hard dongle. Lust is an instinct. It is something natural which we cannot control, and it would be unrealistic and hypocritical, not to mention selfish, to expect one’s partner not to have sexual fantasies and act on them in some way. However, if these create tensions in the relationship, it is very important for both partners to be clear about it earlier on. After all, not everyone has the same boundaries and mentality, and not every relationship’s dynamic is the same.