Are you in a relationship with a man? Then I’m quite sure these questions have popped into your head at one point or another. And, although I can’t read your significant other’s mind, these are most probably the answers.
Question 1: Would you tell me if my breath stank or if I had something stuck in my teeth?
We all need a wingman that tells us when we need to fix something – and from bad breath to sweat patches, it’s important to know when you’ve got ‘em so you can fix ‘em. Having said that, there are two kinds of boyfriends: those who will let you know while taking the piss; and those who won’t, for fear of offending you. Test the waters by doing something on purpose (like having some cappuccino foam on your lips) and check out their reaction. That way you’ll know whether you need to keep an eye out for things or if he will. And don’t be afraid to ask him to tell you. Say: “Chuck, you know that if I’ve ever got something stuck in my teeth, I’d want you to tell me about it, right?” His reaction will help guide you as to whether he’d feel comfortable or not. Oh, and don’t be shy to tell him when his breath is a little pongy too!
Question 2: Have you ever / recently got tested for STIs?
Most straight men haven’t, and many gay men haven’t either. Whether he’s told you that you’re his first or you’re aware of all his ‘Starbucks lovers’ (i.e. long list of ex-lovers), be brave and ask him to go TOGETHER. It may save your life.
Question 3: Do we have a future together?
You know when you do, and you can feel it when you don’t. So, rather than asking, why not assess the situation in a rational way? Many women worry because their men are not romantic or because they’ve stopped being romantic. This is by no means a great thing – if anything it’s quite sad – but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want a future together. Talk about the future (I don’t just mean white dresses and baby grows; talk holidays abroad, what you like in a house and meeting each other’s family) … the results should be clear.
Question 4: What’s the thing that annoys you the most about me?
This question is a case in point of the answer you are going to receive. Nagging and expecting answers will never get you far with a man. Trust me, I understand your frustration – I’ve been in this situation one too many times. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that men are just not good with these kinds of questions.
Question 5: Does my vagina/sperm taste okay?
Let’s start with the obvious: not all men like eating tacos and not all gay men like swallowing the sausage milk. Some people just don’t like doing it and it has nothing to do with how bad or good you taste. If, however, you think that your vagina stinks or doesn’t taste nice, then why not speak to a gynae instead? And, if you think your sperm may not taste like angels’ milk, then why not try it yourself?
Question 6: Do you love me?
The million dollar question and the answer to this will always be: would I still be here if I didn’t? It’s a valid point, but it will leave you longing for those three words. There are two ways to go about this: Accept that you’re dating someone who will rarely (if ever) say ‘I love you’, or move on to someone who may say it more often but may not mean it. What’s important in these situations is that deeds are done and not that words are said.
Are there any other questions you’re too embarrassed to ask your boyfriend?
Let us know and Evelyn will answer them in the next edition of this series.