Sexy or Slutty? If you have it, flaunt it… right?


In a world where media-accepted canons of beauty are ever more important and popular – at a time when one’s self-esteem and self-worth seem to be judged according to his/her physical appearance depending on public approval – it seems natural for any individual, male or female, to want to be as physically good-looking and attractive as they can be.

However what does ‘good looking’ and ‘attractive’ actually mean?

A person’s perception of beauty, as everyone knows, is different. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, as the phrase goes. However, what if a nation’s canon of beauty is conditioned to fall into certain parameters? What if whole generations have been slowly but inexorably brainwashed to accept certain ideas of what beauty should be?

We’ve all heard this argument before. Appearance is only skin-deep and it does not last, as long as you are happy with your appearance, nothing else matters. Real beauty is to be found within and not without, yada, yada, yada. We know the whole rigmarole and yet, we still continue to follow popular canons and media-accepted variations of ‘beauty’ when it comes to choosing who to date and/or admire, don’t we?

Be that as it may, and criteria of beauty apart, whether you prefer stick-thin bimbos or big breasted Latino chicks, embracing the question of ‘what is beauty’ is also the most common query: ‘What is the difference between being sexy and being slutty’? Where does showing off one’s assets tastefully cross that barrier and veer off into Harlot-town?


It is an invisible and very thin barrier. What may be hot and sultry for me, may seem trashy and plain whorish to my neighbour. A revealing top and short skirt might make you appear provocative and deliciously racy in your bedroom mirror, but just show you off as a trollop in the harsh light of day. Hour-long make-up sessions might make you end up looking either like a seductive model or a jaded floozy. Flashy underwear could turn a flirtatious outfit into a streetwalker’s get-up.

Sexy photo shoots have become the order of the day, and the precept ‘When you have it, feel free to flaunt it’ is as common as cracked biscuits in a tin, however one must admit that there is a big difference between an artistic and professional photo shoot, and one which seems to have been patterned after a Jenna Jameson porn-flick. Girls with transparent thongs, stockings and high heels rolling around mussed satin-sheeted beds, women holding their bra-less breasts while straddling big black motorcycles, young men oiling their chests wearing nothing but white boxers …

One must first and foremost remember that what is sent out into the big World Wide Web is gone and lost forever. Even after you delete a photo or video, keep in mind that anyone could have copied it and given it to anyone else. Local websites, like the well-known which maintains to be a launching pad for new non-professional models and photographers, writes in its terms of use that it’s entirely copyright protected and legal, yet how does that stop anyone from copying and pasting or posting any of the photos at will, or using them for more ‘personal’ uses?

Whether you think you are being sexy, or are aware of your slutty posture, it is important to be very careful how and where certain media is distributed. In the end, it is best to remember that these photos could resurface even ten or twenty years from now – how would you feel if your son were to ‘discover’ them while searching for something steamy on the net? What about your father? Or an employer researching about you before an interview?


Never be ashamed or sorry about your appearance or about showing your beauty. However, always keep in mind that other people’s perception of it might be different to yours, not to mention that a person’s respect and the way s/he views you, might change should s/he start to perceive you as nothing more than a wanton tart. Unfortunately, no one can completely say that they do not give a fig about what others think of them, since this might ultimately influence and have weight on one’s day-to-day life, income and peace of mind. And obviously, those who make it a hobby to take or post pictures of themselves online or make them free to the public, DO care what others think of them, since they take pleasure in showing their ‘beauty’ and in inciting comments… and criticism.

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