Breaking up is never easy, but lying to yourself can be.
Here are five signs that show you that: No, no you’re not over your ex … yet.
After the tragic and dramatic breakdown of my first and, thus-far, only marriage, I thought I was so over it, I moved back to my parents’ house and dated every man who asked me out. Turns out I wasn’t over it.
There are many ways to, and reasons why, someone might not be over a past relationship – unsettled affairs, genuine love, feeling lonely, being scared of the future. But, for now, here are the telltale signs:
Telltale Sign #1: If everything reminds you of your ex, then you’re probably not over them. This might seem obvious, but it also depends on the degree. When the first boyfriend I had in Bologna left me, I couldn’t play solitaire without bawling my eyes out. I was lucky enough to fall into the arms of another man who quickly made me forget, but if that’s not an option, then take a break from that which hurts you, every time.
Telltale Sign #2: If you’re constantly talking crap about him or her with family and friends, then you’re probably not over the relationship. Even if they’ve cheated, even if they’ve broken your heart, when the time to be over them comes, you’ll see things in a different light and you’ll be able to look at things, objectively. I’m not saying that you’ll say that you deserved to be cheated on – no-one deserves that – but you’ll probably see things in a different light and realise that catching the cheater was better than living a life of lies.
Telltale Sign #3: If you’re stalking him or her on Facebook, then you’re probably not over them. When you’re over them, you won’t care how they’re doing, or if they’re seeing anyone. You’ll just live your life and let it go. So if you’re stalking them, make a conscious decision to stop.
Telltale Sign #4: If you still have relationship mementos, then you’re probably not over them. The pictures, the teddy bears, the engagement rings: they all remind you of him or her and stop you from moving on. If you really want to let it go, then let them go.
Telltale Sign #5: If you’re still having sex with your ex-partner, then you’re probably not over them yet. This is quite obvious, but come on. Just because every itch should be scratched, it doesn’t mean you should let your ex scratch it. Get your own Josh the dildo or reunite with your preferred hand, and sayonara the ex!
Of course, it’s not nice to not be over your ex but, sometimes, it’s a necessary step on the way towards closure. The important thing is to know whether you are or aren’t over that damn ex-lover / partner / boyfriend or girlfriend /husband or wife so that you can ground yourself enough to move on.
Do you agree with Evelyn? Are there any other telltale signs that someone might not be over their ex yet? Let us know in the comments box below.
Read a letter sent to Eve’s Love Guru entitled Just For Sex