Can Men And Women Ever Be ‘Just Friends’?

It’s the age-old question that many males and females keep asking themselves.

Can we be just friends or is there always going to be something more?

So, I’ve had this best friend for ten years, and we’ve holidayed together, gone to dinner, sometimes even shared a bed, but we’ve never kissed or had sex. In my head, it’s always been a platonic friendship and I’m quite sure it’s the same thing for her. She has a boyfriend, she’s in love, and she’s always been supportive of every relationship I’ve had.

But people often seem to question whether we can really be just friends. They keep insisting that we have something going on in secret that one of us is in love with the other. But we just don’t see it.

We’ve always believed that, to be friends with someone, you need to see something in them that is attractive: their eyes, their laugh, their jokes, their dance moves, their outlook, their soul. Whatever it is, you have to be attracted to it; not in a sexual way but in a deeper, comradely sort of way. Without that, the friendship cannot function.

Think about it for a second: Shouldn’t you find your friends attractive as human beings? Shouldn’t you think your friends deserve the best? And shouldn’t they be there to fulfil certain functions in your life? Like making you feel loved, being happy for you, being a shoulder to cry on? And isn’t most of that the same as having a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Whether those friends are men or women really shouldn’t affect the relationship. Yes, if you’re a man and a woman, then that might turn into something more, but that’s not simply because you are a man and a woman but because you want it to.

Sex shouldn’t determine every relationship in your life and, sometimes, having a good friend of the opposite sex can truly give you a very different and eye-opening perspective on things.

So, yes, as long as the roles are pre-determined and the boundaries are not crossed, there’s no reason why a man and a woman can’t be friends without being lovers.

Do you agree with James? Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?

Let us know about your experiences in the comments section below.