I was browsing through a small box of English language books at a fund raising event and one caught my eye. It is a modern classic Damage by Josephine Hart.
As a relationship coach, and an observer of life, I am fascinated by people and their behaviour. The character Anna Barton is so real. Anna Bartons really exist in life and not just in fiction.
She is different. She does what she wants to do and is actually quite controlling. In the story, she falls for the son of the main character, the doctor and MP with the ‘perfect’ life. The son is perfect for her. He loves her, asks no questions, is happy to be with her when she is free, and she will become his wife.
Then she meets the father, and for the second time in her life, she feels an incredible chemistry with a man, and lets him know it. She will marry the son, and have the father as her lover. She is the first woman to make him feel alive. She lives her life in compartments. She will meet him to satisfy her sexual desires when it suits her. That is her limit. She offers no more. If he wants more, he will lose her. If he pushes for more, she will back away.
She will live the public life with the son, and while the fictional Anna Barton is considered strange and secretive to those around her, they are getting used to the fact that she will become a member of the family.
Why my title ‘Cat Woman’? I feel that Anna Barton characters are like cats. They are secretive, independent, enjoy freedom and do what they want to do. When they are with a person, they give their whole being and focus to that person. They are present for that person.
More and more women, and men, are avoiding what they see as the trap of a monogamous relationship. They have experienced it. It did not satisfy their needs, because it did not function in an optimum way. In fact, they suffered, (usually one person in the couple suffers).
Sex is only part of the issue. They have freedom, they value it and don’t want to return to a status which failed to bring joy and happiness. They don’t believe that it could be different with the right partner.