What Costume NOT To Wear For Halloween

Halloween is not only an opportunity to party and revel in long lost traditions verging on the mysterious, not just a way for the media and the chocolate industry to make money, and not just another excuse (as though we really needed any) to get drunk. It is also, and for many – mostly, a convenient event for those young and old, who like to dress up and who enjoy the playful travesty of disguise for its own sake.

While 31st October may serve as a portal for all that is whimsical and creative, it can, perhaps inconsistently, also become a chore. Year after year, your friends drag you to these parties and year after year, you must devise some kind of costume which is appropriate to their expectations, and yet which will also make you stand out.

And so, you chuck the bucket, as they say – you give up. Why bother to buy or create an outfit which you will only be wearing once every year, and mostly not even that, for fear of appearing repetitive? Why spend time, energy, and most important of all money, over something you will be only using for an evening?

And so, most people find themselves doing the easy thing and falling into a rut – wearing those cheesy kind of cheap outfits produced en masse which everyone else, at least once in their life, has also worn. The opportunity to be creative and invent something new simply rots in its unopened box (metaphorically speaking), and a host of zombie cheerleaders, tattered Santa Clauses and people wearing boiler suits start mobbing the streets.

Here are some of the crummiest and awful costumes one must NOT wear during Halloween at all costs … that is, unless one is purposefully dressing up as an unimaginative boring peep.

  • The naughty devil – this must be the most common (not to mention trashy) costume in the history of Halloween. Honestly, if you want to appear sexy, can’t you at least be more original? If you don’t want to blend in with the rest of the mob, steer clear of this one!
  • The simpering angel – same thing as the one above. How cheesy can you get?
  • The sexy nurse – with its innumerable deviations – the zombie nurse, the vampire nurse, the dead nurse… you name it!
  • The witch – this is kind of an obvious one isn’t it? I’m sure no one dressing as a witch on Halloween plans to stand out.
  • The zombie – some ripped clothes, fake blood, a ton of grime, greasy hair, and you’re done! Sounds like Doris Tal-Haxix (vegetable seller) on a Monday morning.
  • Pyjamas – desperate? Not even an idea on how to begin thinking about a costume? Simple, wear your sleeping PJs and its done! NOT.
  • The hamalla / hamallu – most people don’t need for it to be Halloween to dress as one, so why bother?
  • The vampire – be it Twilight style or the Bram Stoker version, anyone knows how to buy a pair of fake plastic teeth, stick them on, and paint small bats on their face with eyeliner. So, nothing special there.
  • The hot policewoman / French maid / soldier / rugby player – NO NO NO NO NO. There’s the hamalla / hamallu all over again.
  • The sleazy kitty – Really? Honestly. I’d prefer wearing PJs.


So, to be totally truthful, I cannot say that I have never worn anything from this list especially when I was younger, however now I pride myself on knowing better. I understand very well that sometimes most people are not able to spend a lot of time or money creating their costumes, but you’d be surprised at how far a little inventiveness can go.

And if you really cannot think of anything, I advise you to go on Youtube or any internet portal, and search for something. It won’t be unique (obviously, since you’ll be taking the idea from someone else), but it will be better than the tawdry get-ups mentioned above. And you’d be surprised at how much make-up can help!

So, have fun being creative – after all, that is what this is all about!