Are we destined to be with some ‘one’ or is it all a big sham?
From ‘star-crossed lovers’ to ‘someone who completes you’, the media often tells us that we are destined to meet that person who will fit into our lives like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. This makes it seem like all we need to do is sit and look pretty, until the right one finally comes along on a white steed and sweeps us off our feet.
Call me cynical, but I think its crap.
I thought I had found ‘the One’ when I married my ex-husband 17 years ago. It felt perfect, it looked perfect, but it wasn’t perfect. He changed, I changed and our perfect marriage collapsed, leaving me in a dark place in which I felt both lost and found – and I learnt, back then, that Destiny and Fate were two cruel jokes.
When you’ve been dating for as long as I have, you realise that it’s all a big farce. Meeting one person after another for dates, drinks and movies to tell them about yourself, your aspirations, your fears, your wants and needs; and what for? To desperately wait for their approval or judgement to see just how compatible you are?
Date: “I would like to have children one day…”
Evelyn: “Oh! Well, I’ve already got one…
Evelyn: “I think it’s healthy for couples to meet friends separately sometimes.”
Date: “Isn’t that what leads to cheating, though?”
Evelyn: “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
Date: “I like long walks by the sea”
Oh, for the love of God! I give up.
‘The One’ is a joke, and the trial-and-error way of finding him or her is what keeps it running and very much alive. Sure, some people find that special person who they will end up spending the rest of their lives with, but that’s not finding ‘the One’ but about commitment and sacrifice and about learning to see past the flaws.
For the rest of us, I would say that life leads to many relationships and if it feels good at the time then enjoy it. If we’re lucky to find someone who we can be with for the rest of our lives, then by all means we should capitalise on that, but wasting time and money going on a million dates and lengthy break-ups in the desperate hope that ‘this one might be the One’ has really got to stop.
“You like long walks by the sea, pal? Go for it, I’d rather sit on a sofa and gorge on ice cream and Game of Thrones. Sorry.”
Do you agree with Evelyn? Or is she being cynical? Let us know in the comments’ section below!