How Far Can You Go?
At a time when checking on your partner has become freakishly easy, one must beg the question: How far can you go?
I am by no means a woman who is easily impressed; but one thing that seriously astounds me is how easy it is to check up on a partner these days.
I remember how in the 80s the only means of finding out whether someone was cheating on you or hiding something was by rifling through their wallets, bank statements and through the occasional sighting of someone who was somewhere he or she wasn’t supposed to be.
These days we have the goldmine that is Facebook, mobile phones, web history, Google, and a 1,001 and other ways to discover whether a partner is leading a double life, lying about income or whereabouts, and a million other things that could break your trust.
But how far can you go when you’re checking in on someone’s personal data? And what’s unacceptable?
Trust: Well, any form of snooping is a shortcoming from your side. As someone’s partner, you should obviously trust him or her. Having said that, you are at risk from what they do, and getting hurt does not always come metaphorically. Their actions can affect you big time, so trust should be kept within a context and not taken as a general truth.
Evidence: In my opinion, you only have a reason to check up on a partner (in terms of their personal data) when you have evidence that they are lying to you. I have never been a big fan of the girls and women (or the boys and men, for that matter) who want to know who has texted their partner and what has been said. Or of those who have a joint Facebook account – I mean, what is that? Seriously! Unless there is concrete evidence, then snooping around is a waste of time.
Legalities: Going through someone’s personal data (i.e. going through their e-mails, their phone, bank statements, etc.) without their knowledge is not exactly the height of sophistication or morality, but it’s definitely not the most legal thing you can do either. Yes, if you find something, you can use the evidence against them. But you’ll have committed a crime, as well.
Conclusion: What’s too much? Well, if you find yourself going crazy trying to find something, then that’s definitely too much. No one who makes you that crazy in a bad way is worth it. It’s also too much to go through their bank statements, their Facebook chats and their phones – they are private things and although it may seem like a good idea, it never is.
Then What? Well, speak to your partner. You’ll know whether he or she is lying. If things don’t add up, face it and do what you think is best. Note: using violence is never the answer.
Do you agree with Evelyn? Is it too much to go through someone’s personal data? Let us know in the comments’ section below.