Experience or spontaneity? Security or fleeting moments of pure bliss?
Which would you rather choose?
As far as dating goes, I have tried it all. I’ve squeezed myself into many different relationships, experienced a myriad of lovers and questioned everything that I once thought I wanted.
I have tried the flings, the monogamy, the princess wedding, the cohabiting and even the chaste-till-we-are-wed kinds of relationships. I have dated friends and strangers, foreigners, businessmen and the local pastizzar. And yet, through it all, there is still a question that is difficult to answer.
Rather fresh from my separation from my ex-partner, I was once again left to make my way through a list of potential people to date. The friends of friends who people want to set me up with; the ones I’ve met on Tinder and Badoo; the ex-lovers who still haunt my thoughts. But it was only when I actively sat down and analysed what I was looking for that I realised that dating younger and dating older offer completely different things.
The rush of energy from dating someone younger is inexplicable. It is a vampire tale that is still a better love story than Twilight. It’s as if you draw energy and a feeling of immortality from dating someone who is younger than yourself and less experienced but who can show you things you never knew about before.
It pushes you to your limits and you constantly work towards a better you – because as much as it sucks, the world no longer belongs to us, but to those who came after us, and to be part of their world is worth every second and feels amazing. The sex can also be priceless and the bicep of a young man is something that cannot be described in words – well, it can, but it would be obscene.
But older offers security and a feeling of homeliness that engulfs you. To be taken care of and admired for your ‘youth’ even when your youth has somewhat faded is empowering in a ridiculous kind of way. The perks of dating someone with their own home, who is sure about life and what they are looking for, are things no younger person can give you.
Older often means more permanency, however, and that is what most of us look for – I think… There is less sexual tension and more maturity – but then why do older men make me feel like I’m giving up my adventurous side? There are fewer roller coaster rides and less drama – but there are less kisses in the pouring rain and make-up sex sessions, and that kills my being.
I don’t know what to choose and I just can’t make up my mind. So, for once, rather than giving you advice, I’m asking you for advice: