Anger is a basic human emotion that’s been included in the seven deadly sins. It can take over your life and it can destroy you – but there are simple and effective ways to overcome it.
Religion apart, anger can be detrimental to your relationships and your life. It can make people see red and do things they later come to regret. But there is no reason for you to let it take over. It’s one of those feeling that should be experienced in solitude and dealt with wisely.
Over the past couple of months, my ex-partner and I have been at each other’s throats and we’ve both said many things we shouldn’t have. But who can blame us? Anger can blind us and control our bodies and minds; and as I’ve learnt now that my partner has packed his suitcases and moved out (yes, dear Reader, he’s gone) – it can put an end to life as we know it.
So, here’s what I discovered, fresh off the press for you!
Look Up: No, seriously, physically look towards the ceiling or the sky when you’re angry. As you will start noticing now that you know, when you’re angry you automatically look down. Looking up can completely change the way you feel in moments. So next time you feel like throwing someone a dirty look, just look up (without rolling your eyes, like I do most of the time) and take a deep breath.
Get Over Yourself: Often, we get angry because people don’t give us what we want or expect – but that’s just our ego talking. Sit down and figure out what really went wrong. Were you expecting too much? Did you give the other person a chance to explain himself or herself? Are you being reasonable? Don’t let your ego get in the way of your goals – the ego is like the devil, purge him from your soul.
Meditate: Instead of spending days getting worked up over what happened, meditate! Just sit down and think of one thing and focus on it, and if your mind tries to wander, just go back to it. I usually use the phrase ‘Baba Nam Kevalam’ (pronounced as is) which is a Kirtan chant that calls your inner most soul. Repeat it in your head and focus on it. It works wonders.
Forgive: If you’ve been wronged, there’s not much you can do about it. There are a lot of things I wish my partner (very much like my ex-husband) had done differently – but there’s no point in ‘what ifs’, ‘maybe’s’ and ‘could have beens’. Just let go and forgive. Every time the idea pops into your head just sigh and think of something else. Also, there’s nothing worse for a person to know that you got over it quickly – it’s empowering!
Snap a Rubber Band: Okay, now let’s be honest. Sometimes you just want to punch someone or smash a plate, but the first can land you in trouble and the second might be expensive (particularly if like me, you end up destroying half a Mason’s dinner set your grandmother left you and that you’re now trying to get replacements of off eBay despite the extortionate prices). So, instead, just snap a rubber band at a wall. It’s so soothing to the soul, honestly!
What do you think of Evelyn’s suggestions for dealing with anger? Do you agree? How does it affect you?