If you’re in your 30s and still living with your parents, then you really need to read this.
Back when I got separated, I moved back to my mother’s house for a while, and I honestly thought I was on the road to insanity. She would ask me where I was going, why I was still wearing my pyjamas at 10am, why I was being unreasonable with my son, and why I was looking for a new place to live in (“Aren’t you happy here?” she would ask over and over again).
The truth is: no, I wasn’t! I was trapped in a house with someone who still saw me as their little girl when I was dealing with separation and raising a child. Not even the absence of chores made things better, and I often found myself longing to have clothes to iron and dishes to wash in my own house with no one but God and my neighbours to judge me.
So one night, as I cried and cursed the heavens for ever allowing me to ask my mother to take me back in, I realised that I needed a change of attitude – and once my period was over, I took a deep breath and got down to business following these basic rules:
Doing my fair share of chores: I couldn’t expect my mother to look at me as an adult when all I was doing was moping around in my pyjamas cursing my luck. I started doing my share of cleaning, cooking and laundry – all too soon my mother realised that I didn’t need her to mother me anymore.
Looking for property: I was living with my mother as I needed a break from life, off being a wife and a mother – but signing up to adulthood means you never get these sort of breaks. I started looking for a property with my son, and soon enough I managed to find one.
Saving up: I was lucky that I had money saved up and that my ex-husband paid his share of child maintenance, but even so, saving up is vital. Moving to a new home is expensive and the more you have the further you’ll be able to go.
Having a plan: Knowing how and roughly when you’re moving out is a great motivator and puts your mind at rest.
Get off your ass: Hey, you’re in their house, you know? They’ve raised you your whole life, and they probably don’t earn as much as you do now, or have the energy you do. Change a light bulb, contribute to the rent, fill the fridge from time to time, and restock the loo roll. If you want to feel at home, then you’d better put your back into it.
Being determined: Living with parents is easy, particularly if you don’t have to pay rent or do any chores, but then again, you can’t really call yourself an adult if you don’t do any of those things. Know where you want to get and go for it.
What do you think of Evelyn’s guide to living with parents as an adult? Anything you think she should have added? Let us know!
Read this if you are Buying A Property With Your Partner?