Online dating is faceless, nameless and, sometimes, shameless. These are the top 5 lies told in online dating.
People lie. They lead us to believe they are one kind person when they are the complete opposite; they make us think they’re nice, when in reality they’re nasty; they make us trust them only to screw us over; they waste our time and never give us anything back in return. It’s sad, but true: people lie.
Back when I was separating from my ex-husband and all I wanted to do was run head first into another man’s arms and be told I was beautiful, wanted and worthy, I dabbled in online dating. And I can tell you this much: I was 10 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, three shades away from being a platinum blonde and I was called Estelle. I am a person; I lie too.
But I do appreciate that there are people out there who aren’t scumbags like some of us, and that is why I thought I’d write this article. To open their eyes to what people lie about and why.
Age: Why did I lie about my age? Well, bagging a 35-year-old is a bit more glam than a 45-year-old. God knows how many times I was with my best friend going through the people on his Grindr and some man who – in my humble opinion – probably couldn’t get a date with a donkey, had the tagline ‘No over 30s’. Ageism is all around us. 15-year-old girls who want to fall in love and live the fairy tale resorting to saying they’re 20, and 50-year-olds realising that their expiry date was 15 years before.
Looks: We all want to be and look our best, but most of us usually stop trying once we’re satisfied with how we look. I’d probably look better if I lost a kilo or two, or if I tried a different shade of hair-dye, but I’m happy with how I look – most of the time. But online dating gives you the perfect platform to create the perfect you. It gets even worse when the person you’re talking to looks and sounds amazing and you start thinking you’ll never be good enough to complement them.
Job: I love my job and I would never lie about it now, but when I was online dating, I was unemployed – so instead of revealing the truth I told them I was a make-up artist. It sounded great and didn’t make me seem like a lazy bum. Truth is, I was unemployed because I needed a change in career. I was unhappy and it wasn’t what I wanted to do, and one day I cracked and left – but that’s too much of a complicated story to tell someone you’re sexting.
Children: I love my son, but when I was separating I needed to feel like myself again. Not someone’s wife, not someone’s mother, and definitely not like someone who comes with baggage, so I omitted the fact that I have a child. There was one person who asked me directly and I was honest – I told them that I had a cat and that she was my baby. Please note I don’t even have a cat.
Money: Going through a separation, supporting a child and paying bills, rent and school fees, left me rather short on dough at that point in my life, but the men I was talking to didn’t really need to know that. I made it seem like I was an independent woman living the high-life when I had actually got a massive loan from my mother and spent my nights in pyjamas eating Smiles ice-cream, but, again, they didn’t need to know that.
My Advice? Be careful when you’re doing your dating online. Things might not be what they seem.