Assman? Breastman? So what?

Women always say that all men are alike, but that’s not true. Some men like breasts while others like bottoms.

Men are visual creatures. And, true to the Botticelli and Michelangelo in all of us, we are also turned on by proportions.

Yet when it comes to women, we also have particular preferences: some of us like blondes, other brunettes; some like them tall, others short, and some of us like a well-rounded backside while others prefer a pair of twins hanging on for dear life.

In fact, research over the years has confirmed that straight men categorise themselves either as butt-lovers (ie assmen) or as breast-worshippers (ie breastmen), and in one particular research study a whopping 59% said they liked the backside, 38.5% said they liked the bosom, and only 2% said they liked both.

This binary system often sees men having to, or opting to, choose between the two. There has been research which followed men’s eyes’ movement to see which part of the body they’d found the most attractive (with the majority obviously looking at butts or breasts). Another study saw men being shown different pictures of humped behinds and valleyed fronts to see which they preferred, and even released articles with tricks on how to find out whether your partner would rather shove his face between your ass cheeks or your cobs.

The only thing research has failed to deduce, however, is whether liking asses as opposed to breasts and vice versa makes a difference. Am I a jerk if, in a game of ‘Shag, Kill or Marry?’, I’d shag the bum, kill the breasts and marry the legs? And is your boyfriend tasteless for liking your knockers as opposed to the archway to your backdoor?

As things stand, I guess we have no way to know, but I’ll tell you this: the only man you should be worried about, is the one who likes your ‘character’… because that’s just strange, apparently.

What do you think of the whole assmen vs breastmen debate? Do you agree with James?