A couple were asked: “How often do you have sex?”
One replied, “too often, every week”. The other’s response was – “not often enough, only once a week”. Same couple, different needs and desires, one is frustrated, wanting more. Their sexual desires and needs are mismatched.
In a recent survey 30% to 50% of women in a relationship said they are sexually frustrated. Some lie alone on the opposite side of the bed from their partner without even a goodnight cuddle.
Female clients tell me that they spent many years with their partners and did not realise what was missing until they had a sexual experience with someone else: “I should have left him years ago”.
We are conditioned to the taboos of sex by family and church. Just this week a woman told me that her mother told her not to have sex until she was married, and that she would not enjoy it. She was passing on her own negative experience to her daughter.
Men, when you make love with a woman, do you do it for you or for the woman? It makes a big difference.
Many women still expect a man to instigate love-making and will not ask the man to “perform” even though they need loving touch. So if you have a man who is not interested what can you do?
‘Self-service’, masturbation, and using toys are options used by many and, indeed, that is a way to allow the body to release those feel good hormones.