What is infidelity anyway? I am often asked this question. I believe that the answer is different for every couple.

There’s a very wide spectrum of what is considered cheating. For some people it is flirting or fantasizing about another person. They feel that the fact that their partner flirts with another person is humiliating in their regard. Others consider fantasizing about another person, this sometimes includes watching pornography as being a mental betrayal. This is because they feel that if their partner fantasizes about being intimate with another person it is as damaging to their relationship as if they actually did it.

On the other end of the spectrum I often meet individuals who would consider intimacy outside of their relationship to be more hurtful than physical intimacy. To give a more specific example, if one’s partner was out and had a one night stand they would be ok if they were told about it. On the other hand if they find out that their partner was having regular intimate conversations with another person it would destroy their relationship.

Couples should make boundaries very clear to each other as, unfortunately, some learn that they over stepped the line only when they do. This sometimes causes irreversible damage to the relationship. When rules and boundaries are made clear, and nothing is assumed or taken for granted, both feel safer as they know where they stand.

Bottom line is respect towards the person you’re in partnership with.