Whip ‘em? Smack ‘em? Beat ‘em to bits? What can a woman do to dominate in the bedroom?
I am here with an aim: an aim to share with you what I know about domineering in the bedroom. By the end of this you will know what I know, and whether you like it or not, my aim will have been met. Do you understand? Yes? Good. Let’s go.
My ex-husband was quite the pussy in our relationship – he never made decisions and he could never confront me about anything; but when it came to the bedroom, my, oh, my, was he domineering. He liked grabbing my wrists and tightening his grip, he gave me rug rash with his beard and it used to take me at least half an hour to recover after sex.
And then, then I met my first lover after my ex-husband and I got separated, and I thought he was a real wimp when it came to sex until I realised that he just wanted to be dominated, and I wondered: how in God’s name do I do that?
This is what I discovered:
Be Confident: In some relationships the dynamics are relatively simple: you’re both givers and takers. But when it comes to domineering you need to constantly keep in mind the fact that YOU, and only YOU, are the dominant party. Enjoy this fact and live it. Remember that you are beautiful, that he wants you to dominate him and that confidence is the sexiest trait we women can have. So, be the power.
Have An Aim: Go into the bedroom knowing where you want to take things and where you will draw the line. Will you be withholding intercourse tonight? It’s up to you, you’re the dominant party, but decide on it, believe it, and never, EVER, go back on what you’ve decided. Also, don’t tell him where it will lead to, because if you end up going further than your plan intended you to, he will find it a turn off. Ajma…
Carry Yourself Well: You’re not lounging on the sofa, you’re dominating a man who, in most cases, could turn around and slap you silly. But he won’t, because he likes to be dominated, so live that reality both through your attitude and your body. You are the queen, so hold yourself up high. Think Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth: The Golden Age when she’s addressing the ambassador to Spain: ‘There is a wind in me that will strip <insert your lover’s name here> bare if he dares to try me.’
Anything that Evelyn’s missed? We’d like to know!