Although heterosexual people seem to be experimenting more these days than they did before – or maybe more overtly, who knows? – ‘the back door’ still seems to be one of those no-go areas. But why?
Back when I was still prancing about and ‘liaising’ with everything that moved, anal sex was rarely a topic for conversation, even with those I got the most intimate with. Although my gay friends were having it left, right and centre, I was always left to ponder what the deal with anal sex actually was.
‘Why would anyone want to send their dachshund down my badger hole?’ I used to ask myself. Well, long story short, I got my answer when I let someone smash in my backdoors and paint them white on the way out, and folks, it was painful, but then, when I loosened up, I actually enjoyed it.
But are most women willing to give it a try? And if not, why not? I asked some local ladies for answers.
“I’d rather suck my mum’s nipples than let someone go up the same hole my poop comes out of, jaq!” Janelle, 28, told me. (Beautiful!)
“I’ll reword something Pope Clement VII told Henry VIII when he asked him to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon… ‘If I had two arseholes, I’d sacrifice one, but I don’t so I won’t.” This lady chose to remain anonymous in fear of getting verbal abuse once this was published. (Right.)
“I quite like it! It takes some time to get used to it – I mean, it’s very different – but it’s fun! I think all women should give it a go.” Cecilia, 24. (What a pooper! I mean trooper, sorry, trooper!)
“I thought anal sex was only for homosexuals?” Mariella, 59. (Awkward.)
“Pain ghalxejn!” Audrienna, 22. (How sweet, she’s a poet and she doesn’t even know it!)
“Men who want to have anal sex with women are just greedy. You give them your all and they still ask for the one thing you’re reluctant to give away. If they’re not content with shagging my lady parts they can find someone else to make them happy.” Justine, 29. (She’s a tough cookie, this one.)
What do you think of these women’s views on anal sex? Would you have it? Do the guys out there want their women to want to have anal sex? Let us know!