Catching up with my girlfriends I’m often fascinated when listening to their man woes. I have some friends who like the ‘badboys’ and I have others who prefer the ‘gentleman’ types. This might sound like a fairly simple categorisation, however, it doesn’t end there.
The friends who date the badboys complain that the men don’t open doors for them, pull their seats out in restaurants and so on, and the ones who date the gents complain that they are boring, too overwhelmingly polite and kind. Which begs the question – what do women want?
It reminds me of the quote: ‘Women don’t know what they want. But they know they want it now’.
And although the feminist in me should be outraged at this, I have to say the reality of it may well hold some truth. Ladies, we can’t have the best of both worlds. If you date a badboy, you must be prepared for all that comes with it and vice versa with a gentleman. It boils down to the question of what you find more attractive – in its entirety.
It doesn’t surprise me that many of my male friends are simply baffled when it comes to dating women, having sometimes been told ‘I can pull my own chair out’ and ‘I earn my own money I don’t need you to pay the whole bill’ to being told ‘chivalry is dead, where are your manners’ and ‘it was so kind of you to pay for dinner’. Well, sadly, I think the truth of it is – don’t bother trying to work it out because often – we don’t have the answer ourselves.
As modern women, we want independence (but to feel spoilt at the same time) to be strong (but also looked after at the same time) and not to be objectified or judged on looks alone (but to be made to feel beautiful at the same time)… So you see the confusion…
However, I have a sneaky suspicion that when it is the right person for you, all of the other stuff fades away into insignificance – because together as a couple, it just works.