How many couples come together and one will desire to change the other to what she/he thinks he/she should be? In other words, “I don’t want you to develop as yourself, but as my image of what you should be”. This is an unrealistic expectation.
We should all become the person we want to be, our true self.
That is not to say that some guidance, or subtle hints cannot improve a person. For years clever women have guided their men to be better men, often without the men realising it, by support, love and motivation. If your partner does not provide these structures, you have a harder battle to fight life alone, often having to carry a weak or unambitious partner with you too. A complete and conscious man will provide the same support and encouragement for his woman. Others will leave her to fight all the battles alone, and “wear the trousers”.
For someone to change, they must be willing. Otherwise they will resist subtle change, and certainly aggressive change. When he feels that she pushes him all the time to be something he does not want to be, the opposite result will be achieved. He digs in his heels, and she created a wedge between the two.
We enter the world of conditions. “Give up…. And be the person you were before…”- “Sorry I moved on, there is no going back”. When we develop on our path, and we meet resistance, or conditions from a partner, love itself becomes conditional, and will advance towards it’s sell by date.
Where in unconditional love, we encourage a willing partner to be a better person with motivation and support, (s)he blossoms, and the whole relationship can reach new peaks. Only then will buds become beautiful flowers, and lives become fulfilling.