Alien Affairs

Fancy some out-of-this-world sex? It might be closer than you think.

British politician Simon Parkes has shocked the nation by claiming that he has fathered a love-child called Zarka with an alien lover. Called ‘Cat Queen.’ Obviously.

Simon, who is 53 claims that his wife was ‘unhappy’ but he feels that it is ok as it is not on a ‘human level’.

Whilst his hamsters are no doubt petrified, Parkes is not the only person to claim that they have got it on with an extra terrestrial.

A string of people are coming forward claiming to have had space love.

From Pamela Stonebrooke, a singer, who has claimed to have had a three year affair with a six foot reptilian lover who was ‘larger than most men’ (and probably scalier too) to Gabriella Versacci, a mum who was abducted for some inter-galactic intercourse after her car broke down. (It is not known if they also changed her oil.)

And apparently the sex is incredible. At least according to housewife, Jane Murphey, who claimed that she was abducted from her bed for the best cosmonauting (as it were) of her life.

Another reason to love E.T. And his glowing finger!