Keeping the flame alive in a relationship after 10, 20 and 50 years is possible. Some state that it requires a lot of hard work, commitment and sacrifice. However, I beg to differ and I shall tell you why. I am not going to be giving tips and tricks on how to keep the flame alive, because I guess, by the end of this article, you will realize that the so called flame remains alive, because you have met your perfect match – your soul mate if you wish.
When you are in a relationship, and realize that the person whom you are sharing your life with is this amazing person who you want to be around all the time, you go out with your girlfriends and realize that you left half of yourself at home. Of course, you have fun, enjoy the girly gossip, and all the other stuff us women do, however you have a jittery excitement inside of you. You can’t wait to go home and tell your partner what you have been up to, and how much you missed him, even though you had a great time. Such a feeling inside of you is part of the flame.
You see, going out with your girls, is a way of spending time with the other people in your life who are important to you, and whose company you enjoy. It is in no way a means of keeping your own identity as a person. Since when has a relationship been some sort of trap which moulds you into a different person? If you look at a partnership in this perspective, you are in fact with the wrong person. Going out with your friends should not be seen in the light of having some time away from your partner to ‘breathe’ so to speak. Why would you want to have a break from the person you supposedly love blindly? I guess you would have just blown out the flame with the same relaxing breath you took to get away from it all.
I have heard people state that when they go out with their friends, or alone for that matter, they leave all their woes behind them and feel sane again. Why are you in a relationship that is causing you to lose your sanity? Why do you even expect to keep that flame alive and better still, was there ever one, apart from that excitement which is natural in the first few months?
Moral of the story – a life-long partner ideally should be your best friend and lover. Best friends hang out together, share their deepest secrets, support each other and experience the good times and the bad times together. They pick each other up when one falls and they are constantly supporting each other through thick and thin. If you share all this with your partner, I am absolutely sure that you will never find the need to rekindle the flame, however you will find that your flame is forever burning!
On the other hand, if you view your partner as a burden which you have to put up with, it would be wise to evaluate your relationship, and decide if it is all really worth it. You shouldn’t feel the need to sacrifice and work hard at your relationship, as the way you act with your partner should be as natural as breathing. You want to share the good times and you want to help your partner in the bad times – because you want to and not because you have to. If you think that giving your partner your time, is actually sacrificing your time, I’m afraid that generally, this kind of approach means there never was that real kind of love.
In a true, loving relationship, you give your all without thinking twice, and not through cursing and rolling your eyeballs! There shouldn’t be an element of hard work involved, however, it should be as natural as a reflex! When you do things with and for your partner naturally, with no obligations, sacrifices or a sense of doing something mentally and emotionally exhausting to you, fifty years on, you will be that cute, elderly couple who hold hands when they walk, and think the world of each other. The couple we refer to as ‘those whose flame is still burning’.