How do you ever really know that you are fully and completely over an ex? Often we tell ourselves we are, but in fact shudder at the thought of reaching for the same loaf of bread at the supermarket or brushing past each other at a busy bar.
Whether you ended it, or they did, a long (or even short!) relationship’s termination will make you question everything. Could I have done more? Were they to blame? Have I lost the love of my life? These questions, doubts and confusion can make for daily torture no matter how long it’s been since the relationship has finished. And this self-torture will lead to anger, at ourselves, at the ex-partner and at life.
Holding on to these feelings does nothing but keep a dark cloud of negativity over your head which will infiltrate and affect every aspect of your life. We radiate our true emotions and it won’t take long for everybody around you to feel this in your aura.
A key mantra to remind yourself of is that if you spent more time in the relationship unhappy than happy – the balance was wrong, it probably wasn’t meant to be and had run its course. And the true test comes from a quote I love from Desperate Housewives – ‘The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.’
It’s when you can honestly say from your heart – ‘I don’t care who they are with now, or what happened in the past, it’s done.’ Or one step further – ‘I wish them all the very best, and every happiness’. Only then can you say you have healed. You can let go of the anger and hurt, you can begin to concentrate on rebuilding yourself and find true peace and happiness all over again.