“Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is an old saying. Perhaps in a happy, established couple that can be true, having a little space and ME time, while one or the other has a purpose to be away.
But this is the age of tweets, sms, instant messaging…. And how those instant messages at a distance can create all the wrong vibes and misunderstandings. Silence creates suspicions. Relationships are ended with an sms, no eye contact, no discussion, no explanation, no hugs.
Spend a beautiful week or two with a part-time lover, and by the end you are so close, that parting is painful, and you are both promising to spend your lives together. There will have been no misunderstandings, as each little difference is dealt with instantly with eye contact, discussion, explanation and loving touch.
When apart for some time, not connected by skype with eye contact, or regular phone calls, little things crop up by assumptions or suspicions. They cannot be so easily resolved at a distance. One will find more reasons to misunderstand the other. Explanations by e-mail or sms will often dig a deeper gap between the two.
It is little wonder that a man or woman almost ready to leave a non-functioning relationship who is still with the partner… and apart from the lover… will experience these “wrong” assumptions, and build a head full of doubts about leaving the “security” of the “dis-comfort” zone.
Face to face is the best way to avoid these differences getting out of hand.