“You can’t go out with your colleagues if he’s going to be there.” “You should delete your EX from Facebook cause it makes me feel uncomfortable.” “Don’t go out in that mini skirt as I don’t like the way people look at you.”
When we hear of abuse in a relationship we immediately think of sexual abuse and domestic violence but one of the most common types of abuse that I deal with is people treating their partners as an object. I wonder what makes a person think that they have the right to tell their loved one who to talk to and what to wear. Your partner chooses to spend time with you and that’s what matters. Every moment you spend together is special in its own way. Every moment you spend together should be savoured as tomorrow things might change. Truth is that we do not know what our future holds and there’s no way for us to control it. More importantly one’s partner is not one’s possession and no matter what one does, we can’t control how much one loves us.
Every day I meet people who push their partner away because they feel insecure about themselves and their relationship. I invite people who are going through this to work on their relationship and intimacy rather than make their partner’s life miserable by trying to cut them off from their social network. If you do not trust your partner it is time to sit down and discuss the relationship. It’s always more helpful to work on the intimacy and connection than try to control one’s partner.