– Now this is the big one and please appreciate that I’m speaking vs myself so don’t be pseudo-shocked because it will just slide off me – Women left the sink with the dirty dishes and ended up on desks instead. Women are now self-sufficient, to a fault I guess. The value of men has fallen and men are trying, and at times failing, to re-adjust to their new roles, if they have any left, in society. Now do not try to convince me otherwise because it won’t work. I am purely a career women and I have bfs who say that they like a gf who works but in reality it’s all rubbish. Having said that – tough luck to my exes! “It’s amazing for me to see you struggling with payments and life in general, since you decided to be better off as the sole bread winner. Enjoy making ends meet and I will certainly enjoy my travels, designer shopping, eating out etc. – by the way, no regrets for not being your gf or wife. Life has been refreshing since you decided to walk out of the door for the last time. So please when you see me out and about do not think ‘jahasra my ex’ because, trust me – and I mean it – I do look at some of you and think ‘jahasra you ditched me for that ugly, fat, cheap looking girl’. But I do understand you at times as I am expensive to run and maintain and, yes, at times the cheaper option is chosen – and maybe it is out of necessity because you couldn’t afford me.”
– This is another big one. Separation, divorce, call it what you want, has become so rampant that we are no longer shocked or sorry when we hear of another couple who gave up on each other. Now this is sad but it is taken into consideration when investing money, time, energy, into a hopefully long-term relationship. It does not affect me since I love belonging to someone I love, and it’s so nice to have that one person in this tough world who you can count on, text, call, share your life with – the good and the bad – travel with etc, but yes, even I have thought – hey I do love him but is this going to last?
– Infidelity and ‘tahwid’ is common ground. Hence it’s harder to trust someone, at times one can’t even trust oneself, let alone.. Romance, lust, love, sex, romantic affairs, flings often start at the workplace. Why? Simple, your energy level is highest at work, and think about all the hours spent with a colleague in comparison with time spent with your partner. Simple math and one realises that the result is close to nothing realistically, when one considers that at home, after work, the house chores need attending to and once both of you go to bed its sleeping time since you are both exhausted and before you know it both of you have to face another day’s work.
– A materialistic world which in turn affects society, hence, the couple. We live in an era of money – now please once again don’t act as if you’re shocked because again I tell you ‘mi sciavola d’osso’. I am known to be blunt but living as Alice in Wonderland won’t get you too far in the world we live in. Better to see things as they are then to live in denial and then be disillusioned because one day you will fall to the concrete ground and it will hurt. Back to money – life is expensive and our quality of life has increased, so yes, it’s hard to have a loan for a home together, a loan for a car, the ipads, iPhone, etc. So in my opinion, financially, a union between two people has become a greater struggle than living alone. Now I have experienced this first hand. I fell in love with this boy and all I wanted in my life was to be with him no matter what, no matter how many flashing red signals myself and people close to me saw. But at the time he said “I do really like you and want to be with you but I don’t afford you or a relationship for the time being.” Here it was given to me without any sugar-coating, but he was being honest, maybe untactful, but honest. We eventually did work us out since I beared the weight of ensuring money was not going to keep me from being with him – after all, us women earn money don’t we? Or do we now fall in the back seat wanting the guy to pay for us when we go out to dine, pamper us, buy us glitzy gifts etc.. Please be coherent with yourselves and if we have become independent women, let us prove it in practice. Otherwise we really do want the cake and eat it too, including the cherry on top of the cake!
Watch this space for the third and final part of article…